.:HSTuners::

Grip72 · 07-16-2002, 09:21 PM

well my day frickin blows ass. My girlfriend dumped me today and i am so miserable and sad. She is so beautiful and awesome and she was perfect for me. Unfortunately i guess i wasn't that great for her. Don't get me wrong, we made a sexy, fun couple but i guess we fought too much. It sucks cuz we are best friends and we went out for almost 2 years...I am extremely depressed and i can't function. What also bites is that we have a large group of the same friends and now it will be very awkward and weird to be with her and them at the same time..i'm f**ked.

07-16-2002, 09:58 PM

I know how you feel. It sucks... when me and my ex broke up it felt like part of me had been torn apart... atleast now it just feels like part of me was medically amputated... i can sympathize because i just went through the same thing, only i was engaged at the time (not that it makes my situation any worse than yours)... i can't really offer you any advice because the only way i made myself feel better was to move back to NJ... but if at all possible, i would try not to avoid the situation. it'll hurt at first, but it should get better, and if it's meant to be, it'll be.

Grip72 · 07-16-2002, 11:00 PM

Ya i know..but it hurts so frickin much right now..argh i hate this sh*t

Racing Rice · 07-17-2002, 06:54 AM

I remember those days.. Boy did they suck!

The only thing I can tell you is... No matter how much it hurts its not the end of the world, even though it may seem like it at times. If all else fails try to get back on a friendly basis with her. This is often more difficult then it sounds, but it may help a little.

07-17-2002, 09:36 AM

Dunno if you believe in fate or not, but I try to think that bad things happen for a reason. Sure I could just be deluding myself, but if it makes me happier then it's worth it. This could be a door opener to something much better in your life. If she's not the perfect one for you, maybe the perfect one is right around the corner......but you wouldn't get the chance if you had a girlfriend, right?

Not sure if this helps.....but I'm no relationship pro either.

b

07-17-2002, 10:35 AM

The only problem is at times like these, advice is great...but it doesn't really help completely. Maybe just for a bit...then you go back on your own feelings...and it sucks.

Good luck!

07-17-2002, 07:44 PM

well dude i've been there and done that, with her being a friend of my friends. Theres two ways you can do make yourself feel better

1- find new friends
2- make her feel unwanted around your friends (i did this because my friends never liked her anyways)

Honestly it sounds like the relationship was based on sex (like mine was :( ) in time you will realize that and it will hurt more, just a heads up. if it was physical (must have been if you fought so much) then your gonna realize you are totally wrong about how a good relationship feels and i think that is the worst part of it all :(

Best way to make yourself feel better is to spend as little time around her as possible. seeing her around is only gonna make you remember the times she was in your arms yada yada yada. you know what i mean.

Get out driving, fool around with some other girls, maybe find new friends, try spending time doing something you love but haven't had much time for and most of all stay true to yourself!

Dont go back to her even if shes made a mistake about the break up, it only means the other relationship she was getting into didn't work out and she doesn't want to be alone. Stay strong, be the man, suck it up and go **** another girl! (joking about sleeping with another girl)

oh and remember it takes time for the pain to go away, sometimes months, i'm just getting back to myself and i've vowed never to let a woman put a damper on my life like that again. Next time you see a girl like your ex coming along keep your distance! make sure you learn from your mistakes

Grip72 · 07-17-2002, 09:43 PM

Thanks guys...and i do't want to not be her friend. We will always be friends. She still thinks im sexy and hot and likes me alot but doesn't want to hurt anymore because of all the fighting...

07-17-2002, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Accord17
Thanks guys...and i do't want to not be her friend. We will always be friends. She still thinks im sexy and hot and likes me alot but doesn't want to hurt anymore because of all the fighting...

hmm well i can understand that, at least one of you is making the right choice. what you dont know is its harder for the person making the hard choices. been there bro

i feel your pain, but i understand that she doesn't what to go through an emotional rollercoaster (sp?).

Grip72 · 07-17-2002, 11:45 PM

Ya i know what you're saying..and you are kinda helping me. but it is so frickin hard right now. She says she still wants to be friends that can hang out alone...she also told me not to beg for her back or keep askin her out (i wasn't going to do that anyways) I told myself not to ask or beg for her to go out with me again. Maybe it'll happen later on, maybe it wont. But i dont' want to lose her friendship. Even tho she is incredibly hot and sexy and has a great personality that i love...i have to settle for best friends

ebpda9 · 07-18-2002, 01:49 AM

i dunno dude but this friendship thing does not smell quite right, at least not good friends

Racing Rice · 07-18-2002, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Accord17
Ya i know what you're saying..and you are kinda helping me. but it is so frickin hard right now. She says she still wants to be friends that can hang out alone...she also told me not to beg for her back or keep askin her out (i wasn't going to do that anyways) I told myself not to ask or beg for her to go out with me again. Maybe it'll happen later on, maybe it wont. But i dont' want to lose her friendship. Even tho she is incredibly hot and sexy and has a great personality that i love...i have to settle for best friends

Play it by ear, be her friend, be there for her, etc.. Maybe she'll have a change of heart maybe later as you both mature a little more, she'll realize what shes missing out on and have a change of heart. You both are still young. Enjoy life for what it is, and try not to live in the past.

07-18-2002, 07:32 AM

if she was so great why were you two always fighting?

Dont be her friend she doesn't want you as a bf so get out of her life dude. Your only gonna make things harderon yourself and its the stupidest thing you can do!

07-18-2002, 08:41 AM

The real test of a friendship after the breakup is when you start seeing other people. For instance, my best friend was with this psycho chick for a couple years. We all hated her, but anyhow, they finally broke up and agreed to see other people. She pretty quickly started dating a couple people, my friend was cool with it, they were kinda friends and chilled out together sometimes, no problem. Then about 6 months later, he started dating another girl.....and all hell broke loose. She just went nuts, as we all predicted she would, cuz she's psycho.

Anyhow....be weary, be very weary. If you really think the friendship can work out then it's stupid to not give it a chance. It's never good to lose a friend, friends are the next most important people to family....at least true friends are. If you think the friendship may turn sour due to your past, then it might not be such a good idea to go along with it. Ultimately it's a decision you and her will have to work out for yourselves. If you think it's worth a shot, maybe you should talk with her to see if it'll really work. Lay out how things will or may be, see how she reacts to it....see if she'll be able to handle seeing you dating another girl. Decide if you'll be able to handle seeing her dating another guy.

I've known plenty people to be in pretty serious relationships with each other, some of them fought all the time, some didn't, some even ended in cheating, but I've seen them be friends for many years after the fact. I've also seen some extreme hate and threats too......so your mileage may vary.

b

Grip72 · 07-18-2002, 08:52 AM

Mt. biker....no offense but i don't like your approach on the subject. I want to be her friend. We have been friends since grade 3 and best friends since about grade 10. She says still wants to be my friend, my best friend.. and i want the same from her. Honestly, we did have something very special. We fought because of very stupid little things. We have talked a little bit about it and she says she will still come over and watch movies and we can hang out still but we both know it'll be very weird at first, especially in group settings. The biggest thing i will probably have a hard time with is seeing her with another guy or hearing about her and another guy. I can't really see her doing it right away since we went out for 2 years, she is also heartbroken but didn't like fighting all the time (nor did I). Anyways, it'll be very strange and for my part, i don't even care about girls right now. I have never felt so low. I hate my imaginiation cuz lately i've been picturing my ex-gf with guys and crap like that. I need a vacation!

Grip72 · 07-18-2002, 08:54 AM

I think i just really need to talk to her.

07-18-2002, 12:56 PM

Relationships change everything. Living with someone changes everything. There are lots of people you can be great friends with and never survive in a relationship or living arrangement with. Like my roommate....I hate him as a roommate, but like him as a friend just fine.

Since you were friends for so long before the relationship, then you'll probably be capable of maintaining a friendship afterwards. It will be weird at first, but at least you recognize this already. Seeing her with another guy down the road, or her seeing you with another girl, as I've already said will be the real test of the viability of your friendship. If you're open and true with one another then you'll be able to work through things anyways.

The best advice I could probably give at the moment would be this: don't expect anything for false expectations can ruin it all. What you expect going into it can have a huge bearing on what eventually comes out of it.

b

Grip72 · 07-18-2002, 08:18 PM

Ya i know..i really hafta talk to her...thanks guys

07-18-2002, 08:30 PM

Arlight dude then i'm all wrong i'm sorry for giving you my advice.

But i warn you, i'm not often wrong about these things. but in this case i hope i am.

Good luck bro and i'll keep my mouth shut on this one

Grip72 · 07-18-2002, 09:23 PM

Mt. biker....i'm not saying keep your mouth shut..i'm just saying i know we can be friends and i don't want to be rude and shut her out of my life...she means alot to me...and me to her..

07-18-2002, 09:55 PM

alright dude just remember after a break up alot is said that will never be followed through on. Protect your heart and put #1 (u) first always

Grip72 · 07-18-2002, 10:14 PM

I know...it's just hard right now and i have a crazy imagination and i can't stop thinking about stuff...argh

ebpda9 · 07-19-2002, 12:15 AM

well the stuff you are thinking about will happen sooner or later, and imagine how you will feel when the real thing happen.

OT: sorry about not answering the pm but i do not have any pics of my car. i will get them as soon as i get the alignament done, and the spoiler painted and installed

07-22-2002, 02:39 PM

Nothing helps you get over one love like the next. I don't care what anyone says, but that is the truest statement there is.

I have only been broken up with my x for 3 months, now we only went out for a year, but it was very serious, we lived together...yada yada, the whole nine yards.

It still hurts like hell, but now that I've been talking to other guys, I realize that it just wasn't meant to be. We fought all the time about stupid crap. Although in my situation we are not really friends. A call here and there from time to time, but for the most part we are both bitter towards each other. muther **cker

Anyways, you two have been friends for way to long to end a friendship now. I would take the friendship and leave it at that.
If you two are meant to be together, I believe it will happen. If not, at least you know that you have an awsome friendship with a beautiful smart and sexy girl. Cant go wrong with that right?

07-22-2002, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cutiepy701
Nothing helps you get over one love like the next. I don't care what anyone says, but that is the truest statement there is.
I have only been broken up with my x for 3 months, now we only went out for a year, but it was very serious, we lived together...yada yada, the whole nine yards.

It still hurts like hell, but now that I've been talking to other guys, I realize that it just wasn't meant to be. We fought all the time about stupid crap. Although in my situation we are not really friends. A call here and there from time to time, but for the most part we are both bitter towards each other. muther **cker

i dunno if you have to find another love to make the pain go away. I haven't found another love and i'm all better YAY!

i think it just depends on your view of life, me i try to be possitive (though i might not always be i still try) so i'm looking up and kicking some major bootie

07-23-2002, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mt.biker

i dunno if you have to find another love to make the pain go away. I haven't found another love and i'm all better YAY! i think it just depends on your view of life, me i try to be possitive (though i might not always be i still try) so i'm looking up and kicking some major bootie

True, you can get over someone yourself, but it is easier when you have someone there to talk to about things.

07-23-2002, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cutiepy701

True, you can get over someone yourself, but it is easier when you have someone there to talk to about things.

yup but i think a friend is better then finding someone to be in a relationship with. I dont like bring crap to a new relationship i think its unfair to other person

Grip72 · 07-23-2002, 07:32 PM

I think relationships suck...

07-23-2002, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Accord17
I think relationships suck...

'

I'll drink to that!

08-01-2002, 02:11 AM

LIFE sucks?? You just now figuring that one out?

08-01-2002, 02:50 PM

Dude,
Listen to Mt. Biker. This post made me sign up for this forum. You don't want to be her friend, I'm telling you. She is trying to use you. She is saying that she wants to be your friend, and you two will still hang out and stuff...be close. The reason she is doing this is because she really doesn't want to be alone, she just wants someone else. But if you play her game and be there for her, she will keep you around until she finds, what she thinks she wants in another guy, then she will say goodbye to you.

If you truly love this girl. Stay away from her. If you have in the back of your mind that you want to get back together with her, then stay away. That will bother her more, and if she sees you with your "group of friends" and sees that your really ok with the situation, that will drive her crazy and she will want to come back.

Little history of me-
I was dating this girl for 5 years. Every fall, she would break up with me for no reason. And I would play the "friends" game and we would end up getting back together around thanksgiving. I was a fool for taking her back 5 different times. Well- it comes to her going to cancun over spring break of this year, and she decides to cheat on me. Looking back, the biggest mistake i made was trying to be her friend that first fall when she decided that i wasn't what she wanted at the time. I haven't talked to her since she called me and told me that she cheated on me...and that was in the middle of march. Point is, I played this little games and when i thought I had won, I was actually just setting myself up for a bigger loss.

Protect yourself and stay away from her. If you're a cool dude, it's her loss and hopefully the next lady you have will realize how cool you and and you won't fight over every stupid thing.

08-01-2002, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by incubus86
Dude,
Listen to Mt. Biker. This post made me sign up for this forum. You don't want to be her friend, I'm telling you. She is trying to use you. She is saying that she wants to be your friend, and you two will still hang out and stuff...be close. The reason she is doing this is because she really doesn't want to be alone, she just wants someone else. But if you play her game and be there for her, she will keep you around until she finds, what she thinks she wants in another guy, then she will say goodbye to you.

If you truly love this girl. Stay away from her. If you have in the back of your mind that you want to get back together with her, then stay away. That will bother her more, and if she sees you with your "group of friends" and sees that your really ok with the situation, that will drive her crazy and she will want to come back.

Little history of me-
I was dating this girl for 5 years. Every fall, she would break up with me for no reason. And I would play the "friends" game and we would end up getting back together around thanksgiving. I was a fool for taking her back 5 different times. Well- it comes to her going to cancun over spring break of this year, and she decides to cheat on me. Looking back, the biggest mistake i made was trying to be her friend that first fall when she decided that i wasn't what she wanted at the time. I haven't talked to her since she called me and told me that she cheated on me...and that was in the middle of march. Point is, I played this little games and when i thought I had won, I was actually just setting myself up for a bigger loss.

Protect yourself and stay away from her. If you're a cool dude, it's her loss and hopefully the next lady you have will realize how cool you and and you won't fight over every stupid thing.

amen to that bro, to bad to got burn though

some figures from a study i read yesterday

90% of women tested are evil, 50% of them have more then one partner.
2% of women say what they mean
less then 5% of women are truly "in touch with their emotions"
14% of women tested know what they want, the rest think they know what they want but dont.
31% of women tested would trap their lover in a relationship by not taking their pill without their lovers knowledge.
67% of women test judge their relationships compared to what cosmo says 39% of these womenfill out these cosmo tests only to be disappointed by the results, which they try to fix but never look at what they do wrong in the relationship.

i wont bore you with the rest but, aint it the truth?

08-08-2002, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by incubus86
Dude,
Listen to Mt. Biker. This post made me sign up for this forum. You don't want to be her friend, I'm telling you. She is trying to use you. She is saying that she wants to be your friend, and you two will still hang out and stuff...be close. The reason she is doing this is because she really doesn't want to be alone, she just wants someone else. But if you play her game and be there for her, she will keep you around until she finds, what she thinks she wants in another guy, then she will say goodbye to you.

If you truly love this girl. Stay away from her. If you have in the back of your mind that you want to get back together with her, then stay away. That will bother her more, and if she sees you with your "group of friends" and sees that your really ok with the situation, that will drive her crazy and she will want to come back.

Little history of me-
I was dating this girl for 5 years. Every fall, she would break up with me for no reason. And I would play the "friends" game and we would end up getting back together around thanksgiving. I was a fool for taking her back 5 different times. Well- it comes to her going to cancun over spring break of this year, and she decides to cheat on me. Looking back, the biggest mistake i made was trying to be her friend that first fall when she decided that i wasn't what she wanted at the time. I haven't talked to her since she called me and told me that she cheated on me...and that was in the middle of march. Point is, I played this little games and when i thought I had won, I was actually just setting myself up for a bigger loss.

Protect yourself and stay away from her. If you're a cool dude, it's her loss and hopefully the next lady you have will realize how cool you and and you won't fight over every stupid thing.

LOVE IS BLIND...Check this out-
I"m driving home yesterday and came to realize that i have a voice mail. It's my ex. She calls and wants to see me. She wants to know how I'm doing and what not....nonetheless, my heart sank and my soul started to sweat. I didn't sleep last night and I can't stop thinking about her. I loved this girl to no end. But i'd never be able to trust her again. So she put the ball in my court. My heart wants to see her. my mind tells me no.
I dunno. I talked to my friends, who by the way, don't like her, and they said that i need to see her to talk to her.
any suggestions?

ebpda9 · 08-08-2002, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by incubus86

LOVE IS BLIND...Check this out-
I"m driving home yesterday and came to realize that i have a voice mail. It's my ex. She calls and wants to see me. She wants to know how I'm doing and what not....nonetheless, my heart sank and my soul started to sweat. I didn't sleep last night and I can't stop thinking about her. I loved this girl to no end. But i'd never be able to trust her again. So she put the ball in my court. My heart wants to see her. my mind tells me no.
I dunno. I talked to my friends, who by the way, don't like her, and they said that i need to see her to talk to her.
any suggestions?

sometimes the heart is dumber than the mind. i wouldn't go see her unless you are really cool and don't want to make the same mistake for the 6th time. just my $0.02.

08-08-2002, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mt.biker

amen to that bro, to bad to got burn though

some figures from a study i read yesterday

90% of women tested are evil, 50% of them have more then one partner.
2% of women say what they mean
less then 5% of women are truly "in touch with their emotions"
14% of women tested know what they want, the rest think they know what they want but dont.
31% of women tested would trap their lover in a relationship by not taking their pill without their lovers knowledge.
67% of women test judge their relationships compared to what cosmo says 39% of these womenfill out these cosmo tests only to be disappointed by the results, which they try to fix but never look at what they do wrong in the relationship.

i wont bore you with the rest but, aint it the truth?

This just from the latest study:

68% of statistics are meaningless

Just thought I'd share. However those that you provided sound like they may have some kind of accuracy. Although I'd say 99.9% of women are evil, 0.01% say what they mean, 0.01% are in touch with their emotions, etc etc.

b

08-08-2002, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by incubus86

LOVE IS BLIND...Check this out-
I"m driving home yesterday and came to realize that i have a voice mail. It's my ex. She calls and wants to see me. She wants to know how I'm doing and what not....nonetheless, my heart sank and my soul started to sweat. I didn't sleep last night and I can't stop thinking about her. I loved this girl to no end. But i'd never be able to trust her again. So she put the ball in my court. My heart wants to see her. my mind tells me no.
I dunno. I talked to my friends, who by the way, don't like her, and they said that i need to see her to talk to her.
any suggestions?

how mt.biker sees this.

If you can't trust her dont call her or see her. Change your cell number/home number so she can't bug you again. I know it seems like alot but you dont need a dumb ***** in your life, make sure she can't contact you ever again. It will make your life alot easier

Girls get once strike and then their out! Giving them another chance is only dumb!

07-17-2002, 06:54 AM	#4
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	I remember those days.. Boy did they suck! The only thing I can tell you is... No matter how much it hurts its not the end of the world, even though it may seem like it at times. If all else fails try to get back on a friendly basis with her. This is often more difficult then it sounds, but it may help a little. __________________ Racing Rice

07-18-2002, 01:49 AM	#11
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 43 Posts: 17,266	i dunno dude but this friendship thing does not smell quite right, at least not good friends __________________

07-19-2002, 12:15 AM	#23
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 43 Posts: 17,266	well the stuff you are thinking about will happen sooner or later, and imagine how you will feel when the real thing happen. OT: sorry about not answering the pm but i do not have any pics of my car. i will get them as soon as i get the alignament done, and the spoiler painted and installed __________________

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07-16-2002, 09:21 PM	#1
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	LIfe blows well my day frickin blows ass. My girlfriend dumped me today and i am so miserable and sad. She is so beautiful and awesome and she was perfect for me. Unfortunately i guess i wasn't that great for her. Don't get me wrong, we made a sexy, fun couple but i guess we fought too much. It sucks cuz we are best friends and we went out for almost 2 years...I am extremely depressed and i can't function. What also bites is that we have a large group of the same friends and now it will be very awkward and weird to be with her and them at the same time..i'm f**ked.

07-16-2002, 09:58 PM	#2
sparklingxtasy Posts: n/a	I know how you feel. It sucks... when me and my ex broke up it felt like part of me had been torn apart... atleast now it just feels like part of me was medically amputated... i can sympathize because i just went through the same thing, only i was engaged at the time (not that it makes my situation any worse than yours)... i can't really offer you any advice because the only way i made myself feel better was to move back to NJ... but if at all possible, i would try not to avoid the situation. it'll hurt at first, but it should get better, and if it's meant to be, it'll be.

07-16-2002, 11:00 PM	#3
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Ya i know..but it hurts so frickin much right now..argh i hate this sh*t

07-17-2002, 09:36 AM	#5
spoogenet Posts: n/a	Dunno if you believe in fate or not, but I try to think that bad things happen for a reason. Sure I could just be deluding myself, but if it makes me happier then it's worth it. This could be a door opener to something much better in your life. If she's not the perfect one for you, maybe the perfect one is right around the corner......but you wouldn't get the chance if you had a girlfriend, right? Not sure if this helps.....but I'm no relationship pro either. b

07-17-2002, 10:35 AM	#6
juvenile Posts: n/a	The only problem is at times like these, advice is great...but it doesn't really help completely. Maybe just for a bit...then you go back on your own feelings...and it sucks. Good luck!

07-17-2002, 07:44 PM	#7
mt.biker Posts: n/a	well dude i've been there and done that, with her being a friend of my friends. Theres two ways you can do make yourself feel better 1- find new friends 2- make her feel unwanted around your friends (i did this because my friends never liked her anyways) Honestly it sounds like the relationship was based on sex (like mine was :( ) in time you will realize that and it will hurt more, just a heads up. if it was physical (must have been if you fought so much) then your gonna realize you are totally wrong about how a good relationship feels and i think that is the worst part of it all :( Best way to make yourself feel better is to spend as little time around her as possible. seeing her around is only gonna make you remember the times she was in your arms yada yada yada. you know what i mean. Get out driving, fool around with some other girls, maybe find new friends, try spending time doing something you love but haven't had much time for and most of all stay true to yourself! Dont go back to her even if shes made a mistake about the break up, it only means the other relationship she was getting into didn't work out and she doesn't want to be alone. Stay strong, be the man, suck it up and go **** another girl! (joking about sleeping with another girl) oh and remember it takes time for the pain to go away, sometimes months, i'm just getting back to myself and i've vowed never to let a woman put a damper on my life like that again. Next time you see a girl like your ex coming along keep your distance! make sure you learn from your mistakes

07-17-2002, 09:43 PM	#8
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Thanks guys...and i do't want to not be her friend. We will always be friends. She still thinks im sexy and hot and likes me alot but doesn't want to hurt anymore because of all the fighting...

07-17-2002, 11:45 PM	#10
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Ya i know what you're saying..and you are kinda helping me. but it is so frickin hard right now. She says she still wants to be friends that can hang out alone...she also told me not to beg for her back or keep askin her out (i wasn't going to do that anyways) I told myself not to ask or beg for her to go out with me again. Maybe it'll happen later on, maybe it wont. But i dont' want to lose her friendship. Even tho she is incredibly hot and sexy and has a great personality that i love...i have to settle for best friends

07-18-2002, 07:32 AM	#13
mt.biker Posts: n/a	if she was so great why were you two always fighting? Dont be her friend she doesn't want you as a bf so get out of her life dude. Your only gonna make things harderon yourself and its the stupidest thing you can do!

07-18-2002, 08:41 AM	#14
spoogenet Posts: n/a	The real test of a friendship after the breakup is when you start seeing other people. For instance, my best friend was with this psycho chick for a couple years. We all hated her, but anyhow, they finally broke up and agreed to see other people. She pretty quickly started dating a couple people, my friend was cool with it, they were kinda friends and chilled out together sometimes, no problem. Then about 6 months later, he started dating another girl.....and all hell broke loose. She just went nuts, as we all predicted she would, cuz she's psycho. Anyhow....be weary, be very weary. If you really think the friendship can work out then it's stupid to not give it a chance. It's never good to lose a friend, friends are the next most important people to family....at least true friends are. If you think the friendship may turn sour due to your past, then it might not be such a good idea to go along with it. Ultimately it's a decision you and her will have to work out for yourselves. If you think it's worth a shot, maybe you should talk with her to see if it'll really work. Lay out how things will or may be, see how she reacts to it....see if she'll be able to handle seeing you dating another girl. Decide if you'll be able to handle seeing her dating another guy. I've known plenty people to be in pretty serious relationships with each other, some of them fought all the time, some didn't, some even ended in cheating, but I've seen them be friends for many years after the fact. I've also seen some extreme hate and threats too......so your mileage may vary. b

07-18-2002, 08:52 AM	#15
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Mt. biker....no offense but i don't like your approach on the subject. I want to be her friend. We have been friends since grade 3 and best friends since about grade 10. She says still wants to be my friend, my best friend.. and i want the same from her. Honestly, we did have something very special. We fought because of very stupid little things. We have talked a little bit about it and she says she will still come over and watch movies and we can hang out still but we both know it'll be very weird at first, especially in group settings. The biggest thing i will probably have a hard time with is seeing her with another guy or hearing about her and another guy. I can't really see her doing it right away since we went out for 2 years, she is also heartbroken but didn't like fighting all the time (nor did I). Anyways, it'll be very strange and for my part, i don't even care about girls right now. I have never felt so low. I hate my imaginiation cuz lately i've been picturing my ex-gf with guys and crap like that. I need a vacation!

07-18-2002, 08:54 AM	#16
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	I think i just really need to talk to her.

07-18-2002, 12:56 PM	#17
spoogenet Posts: n/a	Relationships change everything. Living with someone changes everything. There are lots of people you can be great friends with and never survive in a relationship or living arrangement with. Like my roommate....I hate him as a roommate, but like him as a friend just fine. Since you were friends for so long before the relationship, then you'll probably be capable of maintaining a friendship afterwards. It will be weird at first, but at least you recognize this already. Seeing her with another guy down the road, or her seeing you with another girl, as I've already said will be the real test of the viability of your friendship. If you're open and true with one another then you'll be able to work through things anyways. The best advice I could probably give at the moment would be this: don't expect anything for false expectations can ruin it all. What you expect going into it can have a huge bearing on what eventually comes out of it. b

07-18-2002, 08:18 PM	#18
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Ya i know..i really hafta talk to her...thanks guys

07-18-2002, 08:30 PM	#19
mt.biker Posts: n/a	Arlight dude then i'm all wrong i'm sorry for giving you my advice. But i warn you, i'm not often wrong about these things. but in this case i hope i am. Good luck bro and i'll keep my mouth shut on this one

07-18-2002, 09:23 PM	#20
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	Mt. biker....i'm not saying keep your mouth shut..i'm just saying i know we can be friends and i don't want to be rude and shut her out of my life...she means alot to me...and me to her..

07-18-2002, 09:55 PM	#21
mt.biker Posts: n/a	alright dude just remember after a break up alot is said that will never be followed through on. Protect your heart and put #1 (u) first always

07-18-2002, 10:14 PM	#22
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	I know...it's just hard right now and i have a crazy imagination and i can't stop thinking about stuff...argh

07-22-2002, 02:39 PM	#24
cutiepy701 Posts: n/a	Nothing helps you get over one love like the next. I don't care what anyone says, but that is the truest statement there is. I have only been broken up with my x for 3 months, now we only went out for a year, but it was very serious, we lived together...yada yada, the whole nine yards. It still hurts like hell, but now that I've been talking to other guys, I realize that it just wasn't meant to be. We fought all the time about stupid crap. Although in my situation we are not really friends. A call here and there from time to time, but for the most part we are both bitter towards each other. muther **cker Anyways, you two have been friends for way to long to end a friendship now. I would take the friendship and leave it at that. If you two are meant to be together, I believe it will happen. If not, at least you know that you have an awsome friendship with a beautiful smart and sexy girl. Cant go wrong with that right?

07-23-2002, 07:32 PM	#28
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,962	I think relationships suck...

08-01-2002, 02:11 AM	#30
toykilla Posts: n/a	LIFE sucks?? You just now figuring that one out?

08-01-2002, 02:50 PM	#31
incubus86 Posts: n/a	Dude, Listen to Mt. Biker. This post made me sign up for this forum. You don't want to be her friend, I'm telling you. She is trying to use you. She is saying that she wants to be your friend, and you two will still hang out and stuff...be close. The reason she is doing this is because she really doesn't want to be alone, she just wants someone else. But if you play her game and be there for her, she will keep you around until she finds, what she thinks she wants in another guy, then she will say goodbye to you. If you truly love this girl. Stay away from her. If you have in the back of your mind that you want to get back together with her, then stay away. That will bother her more, and if she sees you with your "group of friends" and sees that your really ok with the situation, that will drive her crazy and she will want to come back. Little history of me- I was dating this girl for 5 years. Every fall, she would break up with me for no reason. And I would play the "friends" game and we would end up getting back together around thanksgiving. I was a fool for taking her back 5 different times. Well- it comes to her going to cancun over spring break of this year, and she decides to cheat on me. Looking back, the biggest mistake i made was trying to be her friend that first fall when she decided that i wasn't what she wanted at the time. I haven't talked to her since she called me and told me that she cheated on me...and that was in the middle of march. Point is, I played this little games and when i thought I had won, I was actually just setting myself up for a bigger loss. Protect yourself and stay away from her. If you're a cool dude, it's her loss and hopefully the next lady you have will realize how cool you and and you won't fight over every stupid thing.