how do I become an american?

alright people i need your info, some of you must have been born somewhere else. So those of you who know how to become an american lets hear how it works.

after a dream last night i decided I'm moving to hawaii in a year or so and will need papers, americano papers that is.

where do i go and apply to become an american?
how long does it take?
whats the cost?
if i'm 18 is that a problem?
would it just be easier to marry an american girl? (any takers?)

btw yes i know this is very uncanadian of me but i really dont care anymore canada rocks as a country but where we are in the world sucks! I want somewhere like hawaii to be where i live and work, canada doesn't offer that so i'm moving to america.