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Old 06-23-2004, 01:20 AM   #1
GT40FIED
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Why is the Speed channel still on the air?

So I turned on the "Speed" Channel the other day and much to my elation they took precious time away from showing NASCAR homoeroticness to show an actual show about cars (imagine that). But then I noticed a show so bad it gave me cancer. It was called "Chrysler Test Drive". Clever...a Chrysler infomercial disguised as a legitimate test drive show. I'm serious...they tested the Crossfire roadster and Crossfire SRT-6 and didn't offer a single word of criticism. The soundtrack went as follows: "mmmmm Chrysler *slurping sounds* your cars are sooooo goooood *unintelligible mumbling followed by moans and more slurping sounds* mmmmm so many cupholders *continued slurping and grunting*". I'm serious...I really hope they got paid to air that show because, not only do they make the shitbox Crossfire out to be on par with a Porsche, they were just tripping over each other for chances to suck on the Chrysler wang. If this is what passes as programming for the Speed Channel in between their 48 hours NASCAR marathons, just take it off the air already.
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Old 06-23-2004, 04:02 AM   #2
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At least they still have WRC sometimes, that's about it.
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Old 06-23-2004, 04:11 AM   #3
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I like watching some of their programs
The crazy japanese races are fun
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Old 06-23-2004, 06:19 AM   #4
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i like the Rally Races they used to show.
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Old 06-23-2004, 11:26 AM   #5
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as soon as it became the nascar channel it came out of the channels i flip through
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Old 06-24-2004, 05:34 PM   #6
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But wait...what about Hi Rev Tuners? You know...the show so popular it's on at 1:30am Monday mornings.
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Old 06-24-2004, 05:43 PM   #7
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Old 06-24-2004, 05:57 PM   #8
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Yea, SpeedChannel isn't TOO bad, they still show WRC, SCCA Pro-Rally, LeMans/Rolex Series, and F1. I am glad that they are on. And if they are showing crap, there are always 400 other channels.

-Ducky
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Old 06-24-2004, 11:42 PM   #9
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That pretend testdrive show is a real testdrive show... they do all sorts of cars...

If it was the 2 guys going around a track talking on handsfree 2way's...

They've done some sick cars but the show is still pretty boring...

Chop Cut Restore is OK... but it's edited by a 4year old with SERIOUS A.D.D.

Tuner transformations would be cool if it weren't for that H-mo doing the "style" upgrades... (aka graphics on EVERY CAR that comes in there). But they geniunly improve someones car to the end that the owner wants... one guy was a rally drive and the installed a NASTY turbo and a full nav. system with a driver seat and one of those data logging race clusters... it was pretty sweet...

the dude went from having a TOTAL sh!tbox rally beater to having a pretty sickly equiped decent rally sh!tbox.

Barret Jackson is gay

OH and speaking of gay... Michael Waltrip is the gayest dude alive...

I wasn't even watching it my buddy who's all into nascar (because he's a mechanic and thinks he should be)... was watching that nascar talk show they have with 4 drivers...

And waltrip busts out with...

"sometimes they do thaaaaat"... in the GAYEST LISPIEST voice I've EVER heard... all the while cleaning dirt from under his nails like a chick at the hair salon...

He is TOTALLY a closet homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that... but he'd got a wife and kids allegedly.)..

There is NO doubt in my mind he and a couple other drivers (some of which are on that show) are closet homosexuals who can't come out because of their profession.

And they have TONS of classic and muscle car shows the KICK A$$... they did an hour long special on the 67-69 camaro's (camaro's only no firebirds) and didn't cover ANY of the COPO cars because they have an ENTIRE other hour long episode dedicated to those...

There classic car stuff ROCKS...

OH and Barry McQuire is a pederass. I do the FUNNIEST goddam impression of both him and dave mcclelen.. who is a rummy.
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Old 06-25-2004, 12:19 AM   #10
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i like when they show the auctions on there, seeing classic cars sell for hundreds of thousands
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Old 06-25-2004, 01:03 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
as soon as it became the nascar channel it came out of the channels i flip through
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Old 06-25-2004, 01:15 AM   #12
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They do have American Muscle which is badass...but that's 1/2 hour a week as opposed to the 4,532 hours per week they spend showing NASCAR. As for SCCA, WRC, etc., that stuff is soooo hit or miss. They show that when they can't find an old NASCAR race that happened 20 years ago to show. It's like ESPN and rugby. They only show a real sport when none of the other candy ass sports are on (a.k.a. baseball, football, basketball, cricket, fussball, poker, billiards, tennis, curling, etc.).
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Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me.

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Old 06-25-2004, 12:13 PM   #13
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hot rod tv is okay,
american thunder's alright.
the motorcycle races and ralley races are cool.
and that guy with the curly mustache,i think his shows called my classic car or some thing like that
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Old 06-25-2004, 10:47 PM   #14
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Tuner transformations would be cool if it weren't for that H-mo doing the "style" upgrades... (aka graphics on EVERY CAR that comes in there).

JohnnyB... he is supposedly the producer's brother. Complete dumbass and probably deserves to get shot in the face.
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Old 06-26-2004, 12:13 AM   #15
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its the only channel w/ F1, which is reason enough to have it.

why cant they just let the other channels run nascar, theres enough of it on tv already.

one time i was watching some old car movie and they had a topless chick in it, no editing at all.
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Old 06-26-2004, 12:25 AM   #16
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Originally posted by AzCivic
one time i was watching some old car movie and they had a topless chick in it, no editing at all.


Did it have Burt Reynolds? He was in a ton of 70s car flicks...many with topless chicks.

The sad irony is that I see more NHRA/IHRA stuff on ESPN/ESPN2 than I even have on the Speed Channel. And these guys are clocking in at 300mph. NASCAR guys shit their pants if they hit 175mph. F1, however, is also wicked cool...but rarely seen on Speed.
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Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me.

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Old 06-26-2004, 01:19 AM   #17
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hmm i'm not sure, but it had this one part where this dude is driving through the desert and comes upon some weird religious cult that does weird things w/ rattle snakes.

yeah F1 is usually on Sundays w/ qualifing on saturdays.

go to their website and get the programming schedule so you'll know when to watch.
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Old 06-26-2004, 12:20 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by AzCivic


yeah F1 is usually on Sundays w/ qualifing on saturdays.


Sometimes F1 in Canada get's blocked out for some reason.
So I just watch it on TSN.
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Old 07-11-2004, 03:56 PM   #19
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Hate to bring up an old thread but I saw that 5th Gear is coming to Speed Channel. Monday nights at 9pm.
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Old 07-11-2004, 09:15 PM   #20
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I'm watching F1 now, just watched Moto GP (those fuckers are crazy), and I love watching WRC. I like the Muscle show and Tuner Trans is pretty good sometimes, I thnk I'd kill him if he put some cheseball graphic on my car though.

If I have to put up with a little NASCAR to get everything else then so be it, it's not a 24/7 NASCAR network or anything.
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Old 07-11-2004, 10:02 PM   #21
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NASCAR sucks so much penii
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Old 07-12-2004, 03:43 PM   #22
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I like NASCAR. It's prtty exciting stuff. why on a car forum is there soo much hate towards a motosport?
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Old 07-12-2004, 05:33 PM   #23
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because nascar is retarded thats why. any idiot can get in a car and drive fast on a banked oval bouncing off other cars and the wall, which is probably why most nascar drivers have hick accents.
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:09 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Topanga
I like NASCAR. It's prtty exciting stuff. why on a car forum is there soo much hate towards a motosport?


Because, you fetid baby penis...it's not a sport. It's a bunch of drunken inbred redneck hicks taking left turns in identical cars with identical 357ci motors sporting restrcitor plates. Then someone shits their pants if somebody goes over 160mph. I'd love to see one of those bitches strap themselves into an F1 car.
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Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me.

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell

Welcome to the new Amerika
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:18 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by GT40FIED
Because, you fetid baby penis...it's not a sport. It's a bunch of drunken inbred redneck hicks taking left turns in identical cars with identical 357ci motors sporting restrcitor plates. Then someone shits their pants if somebody goes over 160mph. I'd love to see one of those bitches strap themselves into an F1 car.


Wow, great way to be narrow minded. Last year Juan Pablo Montoya (JPM) and Jeff Gordon traded cars for a day. Jeff Gordon did VERY well in the F1 car while JPM struggled.

An arguement can be made any which way you want. You mentioned that you like NHRA/NIRA. Saying that Nascar drivers only drive in circles is like saying drag racers only drive in straight lines and that any idiot can jump in a TopFuel dragster and race it. As far as Nascar drivers being inbred hicks... even John Force has a mullet and an accent.

You are an idiot.
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Old 07-13-2004, 11:50 AM   #26
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struggled!? they were racing around the same track werent they? if i had a shit box and a sick ass f1 car which would i get around the track faster in?

i believe drag racing is the only motorsport where women actually do as well as men, hmmm interesting. maybe that means if you strap a fast enough car to someone who can hit the go pedal they'll be fast, yeah thats what i think it means.(sexist..maybe but thats how it is)
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:49 PM   #27
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The only reason I watch speed any more is because of Two Wheeled Tuesday. Most of the other stuff they play (Nascar, Nascar, Nascar....) Is crap. Why cant they just make a Nascar channel and give us back the old, cool speedvision.
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Old 07-15-2004, 02:47 AM   #28
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Originally posted by Duckydos
Wow, great way to be narrow minded. Last year Juan Pablo Montoya (JPM) and Jeff Gordon traded cars for a day. Jeff Gordon did VERY well in the F1 car while JPM struggled.

An arguement can be made any which way you want. You mentioned that you like NHRA/NIRA. Saying that Nascar drivers only drive in circles is like saying drag racers only drive in straight lines and that any idiot can jump in a TopFuel dragster and race it. As far as Nascar drivers being inbred hicks... even John Force has a mullet and an accent.

You are an idiot.


Pardon me, but fuck you. Yeah...I'm sure if someone handed me a Yugo when I was used to a Ferrari I'd probably have some trouble making it work. And you've completely missed the point of drag racing. I'm not a rabid fan (i.e. I'm not from the south), but I realize the differences. NHRA/NMRA/IHRA/etc. cars aren't limited to one engine, one setup, one transmission, one carb, one cam, etc. I could care less about the drivers and focus more on their combos and their times. NASCAR is now 80% white trash beauty pageant, 19% marketing, and 1% racing. And who cares about John Force? Fuck John Force. I'll lump him in with NASCAR drivers gladly. Besides, I like to focus more on classes with more open ended competition like NMRA's Pro 5.0 and Renegade classes. So many guys running different setups and power adders...it's all about your setup, not how lucky you get driving around an oval track (be still, my beating heart) and playing grab ass with a bunch of like-minded morons.
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Anna Fan Club President/Dictator

Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me.

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell

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Old 07-15-2004, 03:19 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by Racing Rice
The only reason I watch speed any more is because of Two Wheeled Tuesday. Most of the other stuff they play (Nascar, Nascar, Nascar....) Is crap. Why cant they just make a Nascar channel and give us back the old, cool speedvision.

Pretty much.
and now speed get's some other oK shows.
Nascar sucks.
The cars suck.
Everything about the sport sucks
Plain and simple.
GT I'm on your side.!
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