.:HSTuners::

Whiteclipse99 · 08-21-2003, 09:25 AM

Just curious as to what everyone's views are on having friends with benefits.

Just in case some people may not know what that means, it means having a friend that you have sex with, but the relationship never goes further than that. Purely sexual.

V8killimports · 08-21-2003, 02:49 PM

Well what are your views? =) I don't think there is anything wrong with it.. I have done it on occasions.. sometimes it can be the best you ever had..

08-21-2003, 05:32 PM

i don't know whether i'm for it or against it. i had one of these...but it didn't start out that way. this guy was the first and only guy i've ever been with (i'm 22 btw).

i mean i liked him soooo much before we ever slept together...and of course like a dumbass...i thought once we did...we'd like start a relationship. well that never happened. but we became really good friends.

and since then we've messed around a few more times and really i think it can't be all that bad...unless one of you is attached. i'm somewhat attached to him. and it like erks me when he dates girls...i know it shouldn't but it's hard to deal with.

so i guess my answer is that its NOT harmless as long as both of u are unattached and safe about it.

08-22-2003, 12:54 AM

I chose #2 only because I'm still sporting the whole V thing, so I have no clue what one or the other way will feel like. I currently don't think it's right, but I won't say no way before I experience sex, because Imight like it so much that I'll end up doing it so I then become a hypocrite. Even though I've contradicted mysefl before I don't want to do it too much knowingly.

DsBlu01CivEX · 08-22-2003, 07:53 AM

I don't agree with it. Any of these situations that people I know of have been put in, one of the 2 people have been attached to the other person, which is the reason why they put themselves in the situation to begin with. So while the one person is attached (normally the girl) the other isn't and doesn't bother to call or talk to them until they want another piece of @ss. So, then my question is....Where does it stop? I just don't think it's fair to either party. The attached person won't move on because they have this pipe dream that the other person will one day come around and want a relationship...and by having that dream they don't move on and try to find someone who is worth their time. And the attached person then always has a deep down feeling of being used, which is NEVER a good feeling. Then the non-attached person thinks that hell all they gotta do is call this person up anytime they want (including 3 am) thinking that "well blah blah likes me so much, he/she will come over no matter what." So, they just sorta expect that it'll happen. I just don't think it's a cool situation to get into.

08-22-2003, 03:03 PM

^^^ very good point...a lot of it pertains to me..well except for the 3 a.m. booty call crap....im sleepin at 3 am!!! still a very good point.

DsBlu01CivEX · 08-23-2003, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by imports_only98
^^^ very good point...a lot of it pertains to me..well except for the 3 a.m. booty call crap....im sleepin at 3 am!!! still a very good point.

I've gotten that numerous times from my ex...who I'm not completely over yet. So it's really hard to say no sometimes...but then I roll over and look at the clock through blurry eyes, see that it's 3am and that just makes me say "nope...I'm going to back to sleep now. I'll talk to you later

"

08-25-2003, 05:30 PM

will power rocks girl!

08-25-2003, 09:07 PM

No. And the main reasoning has been covered. In addition, there are likely some self-esteem issues involved.

08-27-2003, 04:21 PM

ack.....might as well if you want....just make sure not to fall in to far and get attached...if you have sex and leave or eat....thats fine...if you start callin every night to see how each others doin...why don't you call it a relationship......if you have sex and it's done for another few days...it'll work out

Racing Rice · 08-28-2003, 09:37 AM

I personally dont agree with it, Im the kind of person that believes sex should done on a higher level.

BlackWolf · 08-28-2003, 03:23 PM

If you are not in a relationship, then yes. If you are in a commited relationship, then no. Simple as that but you have to remember, BOTH parties involved HAVE to be in agreement about this. Sex with that person may be great but you also have to be mature enough about it to realize that you are involved for sex ONLY. You can't be getting jealous over that person seeing someone else. For men, I don't see much of a problem with this, but for us women, more often than not, our coochies are attached to our hearts and it is VERY difficult to separate the two. Men DON'T have this problem. Ladies, please be VERY careful should any of you decide to do this. I have done this in the past before I was in a relationship and now after my divorce. I go this direction willingly and knowing that I DON'T want a realtionship anytime soon.

This is why it is easier for me to do this.

Racing Rice · 09-02-2003, 08:05 AM

Good point Blackwolf.. Most men dont mind the seek and destroy game. It can usually be done with no attachment.

View Poll Results: What do you think about having a friend with benefits?
I don't think there's anything wrong with it	4	33.33%
Depends on what kind of friend	4	33.33%
No way, I don't agree with it	4	33.33%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll

08-21-2003, 09:25 AM	#1
Whiteclipse99 4th Gear Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York, Pa Age: 45 Posts: 952	Friends with benefits Just curious as to what everyone's views are on having friends with benefits. Just in case some people may not know what that means, it means having a friend that you have sex with, but the relationship never goes further than that. Purely sexual. __________________ Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane. -- Robert Orben Last edited by Whiteclipse99 : 08-21-2003 at 09:33 AM.

08-22-2003, 07:53 AM	#5
DsBlu01CivEX Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York Age: 44 Posts: 2,542	I don't agree with it. Any of these situations that people I know of have been put in, one of the 2 people have been attached to the other person, which is the reason why they put themselves in the situation to begin with. So while the one person is attached (normally the girl) the other isn't and doesn't bother to call or talk to them until they want another piece of @ss. So, then my question is....Where does it stop? I just don't think it's fair to either party. The attached person won't move on because they have this pipe dream that the other person will one day come around and want a relationship...and by having that dream they don't move on and try to find someone who is worth their time. And the attached person then always has a deep down feeling of being used, which is NEVER a good feeling. Then the non-attached person thinks that hell all they gotta do is call this person up anytime they want (including 3 am) thinking that "well blah blah likes me so much, he/she will come over no matter what." So, they just sorta expect that it'll happen. I just don't think it's a cool situation to get into. __________________ "Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike

08-28-2003, 09:37 AM	#11
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 46 Posts: 7,985	I personally dont agree with it, Im the kind of person that believes sex should done on a higher level. __________________ Racing Rice

08-28-2003, 03:23 PM	#12
BlackWolf La Loba Loca Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nor Cal Posts: 1,016	If you are not in a relationship, then yes. If you are in a commited relationship, then no. Simple as that but you have to remember, BOTH parties involved HAVE to be in agreement about this. Sex with that person may be great but you also have to be mature enough about it to realize that you are involved for sex ONLY. You can't be getting jealous over that person seeing someone else. For men, I don't see much of a problem with this, but for us women, more often than not, our coochies are attached to our hearts and it is VERY difficult to separate the two. Men DON'T have this problem. Ladies, please be VERY careful should any of you decide to do this. I have done this in the past before I was in a relationship and now after my divorce. I go this direction willingly and knowing that I DON'T want a realtionship anytime soon. This is why it is easier for me to do this. __________________ Does the noise in my head bother you??

08-21-2003, 02:49 PM	#2
V8killimports Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Beale AFB, CA Posts: 1,377	Well what are your views? =) I don't think there is anything wrong with it.. I have done it on occasions.. sometimes it can be the best you ever had..

08-21-2003, 05:32 PM	#3
imports_only98 Posts: n/a	i don't know whether i'm for it or against it. i had one of these...but it didn't start out that way. this guy was the first and only guy i've ever been with (i'm 22 btw). i mean i liked him soooo much before we ever slept together...and of course like a dumbass...i thought once we did...we'd like start a relationship. well that never happened. but we became really good friends. and since then we've messed around a few more times and really i think it can't be all that bad...unless one of you is attached. i'm somewhat attached to him. and it like erks me when he dates girls...i know it shouldn't but it's hard to deal with. so i guess my answer is that its NOT harmless as long as both of u are unattached and safe about it.

08-22-2003, 12:54 AM	#4
juvenile Posts: n/a	I chose #2 only because I'm still sporting the whole V thing, so I have no clue what one or the other way will feel like. I currently don't think it's right, but I won't say no way before I experience sex, because Imight like it so much that I'll end up doing it so I then become a hypocrite. Even though I've contradicted mysefl before I don't want to do it too much knowingly.

08-22-2003, 03:03 PM	#6
imports_only98 Posts: n/a	^^^ very good point...a lot of it pertains to me..well except for the 3 a.m. booty call crap....im sleepin at 3 am!!! still a very good point.

08-25-2003, 05:30 PM	#8
imports_only98 Posts: n/a	will power rocks girl!

08-25-2003, 09:07 PM	#9
DumbMoFo Posts: n/a	No. And the main reasoning has been covered. In addition, there are likely some self-esteem issues involved.

08-27-2003, 04:21 PM	#10
zm_dawg Posts: n/a	ack.....might as well if you want....just make sure not to fall in to far and get attached...if you have sex and leave or eat....thats fine...if you start callin every night to see how each others doin...why don't you call it a relationship......if you have sex and it's done for another few days...it'll work out

09-02-2003, 08:05 AM	#13
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 46 Posts: 7,985	Good point Blackwolf.. Most men dont mind the seek and destroy game. It can usually be done with no attachment. __________________ Racing Rice

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