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Old 12-19-2002, 01:46 PM   #1
ChrisCantSkate
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The 6 levels of Hangovers:

The Six Levels of Hangovers:

One Star Hangover (*): No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

Two Star Hangover (**): No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***): Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of Diet Coke, yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****): Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Grover Cleveland HS, class of '84.

Five Star Hangover (*****): aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell." You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the **** fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house.

Six Star Hangover (******): Otherwise known as the "Infinite Nut Smacker." You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to getup before you. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead...the stamp on the back of your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers. Yet drinking SEEMS like a good idea...
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Old 12-19-2002, 01:51 PM   #2
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aaahhh haaaaa. One of my friends here at work sent something like that similar to me one day when I was all hungover. So funny. I'm going to try and find mine and see if it's different.
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Old 12-19-2002, 04:59 PM   #3
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LMAO that's so funny
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Old 12-19-2002, 07:25 PM   #4
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lol I havent had all that kind of stuff happen to me, but hen again i've only been really drunk once
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Old 12-19-2002, 08:14 PM   #5
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Well I was between a 3 star and 4 star hangover this morning
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Old 12-19-2002, 10:15 PM   #6
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For some reason i don't get hangovers...i never feel bad after a fun night of drinkin
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Old 12-20-2002, 08:26 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by mylittlecivic
lol I havent had all that kind of stuff happen to me, but hen again i've only been really drunk once

give it time.... you'll wake up on a stair case on of these days and feel like shit the entire day.
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Old 12-20-2002, 09:13 AM   #8
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I'm a *** 3 star today.
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Old 12-20-2002, 09:24 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by msvtec14
I'm a *** 3 star today.


congrats. i havnt drank in 2 weeks i think.
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Old 12-20-2002, 09:53 AM   #10
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Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
congrats. i havnt drank in 2 weeks i think.


Yeah. It was about a week for me up until last night. This weekend is going to get crazy too because it's some of friends' b-days and then I'm going to my friends' band show on Sun. Come Monday, I don't want to know how many stars I'm going to have.
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Old 12-20-2002, 09:56 AM   #11
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heh... going back to orlando tonight... probobly gonna wake up there.. hopfully with no more than 4 stars
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Old 12-20-2002, 10:17 AM   #12
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Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
heh... going back to orlando tonight... probobly gonna wake up there.. hopfully with no more than 4 stars


Ok, this is terrible but have you ever not been able to locate your car?
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Old 12-20-2002, 10:40 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by msvtec14
Ok, this is terrible but have you ever not been able to locate your car?

i never move my car when i drink.. o i've never been able to not locate my car... but i have lost my phone.. my keys, my shoes.. a jacket.. my pants(nothing wierd happened)... my hat.. ive woken up with marker on me (damn friends) ive woken up outside, ive woken up in a kitchen.. a bathroom, on tile many times.... and my fav.. a pool table. ive had misterious cuts and burses on me, i woke up with a huge lump on my forehead one morning(found out later i dropped a huge thick pint glass on my forehead cause i was holding it an arms length overhead letting the last drops come out.. and it slipped out of my hand..) but ive grown out of most of that. now i dont do dumb shit anymore....
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Old 12-20-2002, 01:37 PM   #14
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Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
i never move my car when i drink.. o i've never been able to not locate my car... but i have lost my phone.. my keys, my shoes.. a jacket.. my pants(nothing wierd happened)... my hat.. ive woken up with marker on me (damn friends) ive woken up outside, ive woken up in a kitchen.. a bathroom, on tile many times.... and my fav.. a pool table. ive had misterious cuts and burses on me, i woke up with a huge lump on my forehead one morning(found out later i dropped a huge thick pint glass on my forehead cause i was holding it an arms length overhead letting the last drops come out.. and it slipped out of my hand..) but ive grown out of most of that. now i dont do dumb shit anymore....


Yeah, I really won't drink and drive. I'll have a beer or two and drive but never drunk. Two beers is nothing to me. Yeah, I lost my car. One time I went out one night and I drove and as I started to have a beer, one of my friends offered to drive my car home if I wanted to get drunk. And I said yes. But rather than staying over my house, she took my car to her house. And the next morning I had absolutly no clue as to where it was. I figured it out after a few phone calls. I'm always losing my phone too! I pay $4 a month for insurance and it's all good. I've lost my shoes too but never my pants. My best friend lost her pants once too (but I'm sure she was up to something weird). I used to do crazy stuff as well but I got in trouble one time and it scared some sense into me. I'll get rowdy every now and then but moderation is key!
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Old 12-20-2002, 04:29 PM   #15
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you know i've done some mad drinking and never felt it. My secret is just before i hit the ground i have 2 big classes of water and i'm fine when i wake up 10-12 hours later.

Those days are over though....
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Old 12-20-2002, 04:34 PM   #16
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I started drinking at 11:00pm, Finished drinking at about 11:45... got in a hot tub, got out at 3:00am passed out, woke up at 5:00am, went home, slept til 4:00pm was still drunk til 7:00 pm, i wanted to kill myself
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Old 12-20-2002, 06:31 PM   #17
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yah on my bday I was probably ranging somewhere around a 4-4.5 star day....but other than that I'm normally kickin it around a 1 star if I've had a decent amount to drink. but I haven't been drinkin a whole lot lately due to the fact that I have NO money. I hate that feeling! So I normally will have like 1 maybe 2 drinks when I go out.
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Old 12-21-2002, 08:44 AM   #18
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I'm a 5 star today. ***** This is not cool. At all. We pretty much have floor to ceiling windows at my work. I got here this morning and there was a wild turkey banging it's head against one of the windows thinking that it was another turkey and not it's own reflection. And initially, I questioned if it was real.
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Old 12-21-2002, 02:02 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by msvtec14
I'm a 5 star today. ***** This is not cool. At all. We pretty much have floor to ceiling windows at my work. I got here this morning and there was a wild turkey banging it's head against one of the windows thinking that it was another turkey and not it's own reflection. And initially, I questioned if it was real.

2 things...

a FVCKING TURKEY!!! babahahahahahah... that would be too much for me... i'd go home.

and if you drink on a hangover, your already dehydrated.. more drinking does... well... how you feel


rob: ive tried the water thing, but it dosnt work for me that well. one night i had about 30oz's of water before going to bed and i woke up the next morning and it felt like i rolled down 3 flights of stairs. i think its the yager that kills me. its sooo much fun/good though
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Old 12-24-2002, 09:08 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
2 things...

a FVCKING TURKEY!!! babahahahahahah... that would be too much for me... i'd go home.

and if you drink on a hangover, your already dehydrated.. more drinking does... well... how you feel


rob: ive tried the water thing, but it dosnt work for me that well. one night i had about 30oz's of water before going to bed and i woke up the next morning and it felt like i rolled down 3 flights of stairs. i think its the yager that kills me. its sooo much fun/good though


Dude, it's the yager that does it to me too! If I just stick with beer for night, I'm fine. But if I start mixing the beer and liquor, I have the worst hangover ever. On Saturday, I went out to this big bar/club. And then on Sunday I went to my friends' band's show and proceeded to get drunk again. And then yesterday, I woke up with the flu. I think it's karma for being so bad this weekend. I'll never do that again. I could not even come to work yesterday. And when I did this morning, I was really scared that the turkey would be outside.
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