how to cure....

i just wanna play the blame game..but i kno it was my fault (well majority of it).....i ed up large and i regret it...

people have told me never regret anything in your life...i usually don't..but when it comes to someone i love...i really regret it......

i just don't kno what to do anymore....i've started smoking again.....been smoking half a pack a day...seems like i smoke more and more now.....i can't help it....i just want things the way they were...i wish i could turn back time but i kno i can't....

like everything seems different now....just the fact that i'm alone now.....my perception of the world and the way things were around my life has totally changed...itz like i just moved here or soemthing....a lost person in a huge world.....

i just don't kno where i'm goin....everything just looks different now than before.....

i guess i'm just upset and disappointed in myself......