.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
03-19-2002, 10:08 PM
|
#1 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 44
Posts: 2,542
|
Cops...and gettin out of speeding tickets
How to handle a speeding ticket!
(Now please understand, I am NOT suggesting you do this, but .......... !! ;-) A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.  
__________________
"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:14 PM
|
#2 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
Rotfflmfao!!! translation Rolling on the f'n floor laughin my f'n ass off!!!!!! that was great man!!! absolutley great!!! best on i've ever heard!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:16 PM
|
#3 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
hmmm may be i will try that next time!! or maybe not!
|
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:20 PM
|
#4 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cecil County, Maryland
Age: 46
Posts: 1,129
|
Snickers has a radio commercial that starts out like that..
very funny !
__________________
Patrick 4jacks 4jacks@gmail.com Happy Honda'ing |
|
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:23 PM
|
#5 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 44
Posts: 2,542
|
I just wish I'd be able to pull that off with a straight face. I did get out of my last speeding ticket...somewhat. I really wanted to get me for DUI
 ...but for once I hadn't drank that night (because I was driving). And probably cuz I barely had a shirt on. wink wink!! I was comin home from clubbin...and had my "club hooch" attire on.
__________________
"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
|
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:24 PM
|
#6 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 44
Posts: 2,542
|
sorry i fugged up...he really wanted to get me for a DUI....not I wanted to get myself for one...geez..... this is why we proofread things...my professors have taught me nothing in 4 yrs of college!!!!!!
__________________
"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
|
|
|
|
03-19-2002, 10:28 PM
|
#7 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cecil County, Maryland
Age: 46
Posts: 1,129
|
 I've never gotten outa anything... I got a ticket when this chic cob fly's by me, stops at the red light, and I slowly take the turn w/o stoping Gotten a ticket for not having my headlights on from a cop who SCREAMED at me before i opened my mouth that I was "A Punk kid who drives around with only his bright fog lights" Got pulled over for driving at night Got pulled over for driving Got pulled over for turning around Got pulled over for driving around my neighborhood slowly in the middle of the day w/ my dad in the car when I had my learners permit... and I hit the curb when I pulled over.. Just thought I'd Share...
__________________
Patrick 4jacks 4jacks@gmail.com Happy Honda'ing |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 12:21 PM
|
#8 |
|
Project Combat Honda
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Highland,OH
Age: 46
Posts: 7,985
|
Ive heard that before.. Its a good one...
Maybe I need to find some hoochie wear.. 
__________________
Racing Rice |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 12:34 PM
|
#9 |
|
Insomniac Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: OR
Age: 44
Posts: 11,142
|
LMAO, I've heard that before, but its still funny
__________________
1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...-- |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 03:16 PM
|
#10 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
LMAO That is funny sheiot! Good one!
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 04:07 PM
|
#11 | |
|
Posts: n/a
|
That joke is hillarious!
Quote:
Damn. In what period of time did this all happen? Like how was it since you got your learners permit? And where do you live again? |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 06:30 PM
|
#12 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cecil County, Maryland
Age: 46
Posts: 1,129
|
Well Its been about 5 years since I had my learners.. Haven't been pulled over since I've had my Civic... All that plus 2 speeding tickets all happened within the first 3 years of me driving.
I live in Maryland.. course All the times I've been pulled over was by city cops... BEL AIR cops ... they suck. One time that I'm suprised I didn't get pulled over... A Bel-Air cop was stoped at a light waiting to turn left... I went right and was going home... and He bust a big old U and starts following me, He follows me for 3 miles, then I must a mad crazy turn about into this parking lot and get behind em... I followed him for like ten minutes, before I got bored and went home.
__________________
Patrick 4jacks 4jacks@gmail.com Happy Honda'ing |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 10:08 PM
|
#13 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
lol why did you do that?
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 10:49 PM
|
#14 | |
|
Posts: n/a
|
Quote:
Dude you've got some serious issues!!!!!! that sounds like fun though i might try that one day when im bored!! hell maybe even saturday im off!! (if i get a ticket for this you DIE)  |
|
|
|
|
03-20-2002, 11:02 PM
|
#15 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
funny.. funny. funny
|
|
|
|
03-23-2002, 08:52 PM
|
#16 |
|
Project Combat Honda
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Highland,OH
Age: 46
Posts: 7,985
|
Here this might help you out a little..
http://download.consumptionjunction....ia/cj_8443.asf [Warning: contains vulgar language]
__________________
Racing Rice |
|
|
|
|
03-23-2002, 09:01 PM
|
#17 | |
|
Posts: n/a
|
Re: Cops...and gettin out of speeding tickets
Quote:
I need to memorize and use this one ASAP lmao |
|
|
|
|
03-23-2002, 10:01 PM
|
#18 |
|
Posts: n/a
|
LOL, that was funniest shit ive ever read. I would love to try to do that to a cop but I doubt Id get passed the I stole the car without a gun in my face, in this ****ed up city I live in.
Ever wanted to have those damn sales people take your name off the list?? When they call, instead of hanging up, saying no thank you or listening to them ramble with no intention of buying. You simply say, "OMG, havent you heard? He/She was killed in a car accident 2 days ago. I cant believe you calling after such a horrible event." Ive done it once but started laughing in the middle of it so I doubt it worked. =[ |
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
