.:HSTuners::

GT40FIED · 03-27-2006, 07:31 PM

Ok Jeremy...here's what you do. You go out and find a goose and...oh wait...that's what I'd do. Scratch that.

Here's the bottom line man. I think we've already established that you're going to be the only one acting like an adult here and as such you're the only one entitled to make adult decisions. If she's going to run away every time shit gets difficult, you're going to have one helluva problem marriage. Every marriage has problems...even the best ones...so it's important to learn how to face those problems head on. If she's unwilling to do that you have no future with her. Sorry man, but there it is. It's a matter of nature that the "newness" and initial excitement will wear off in any relationship...it has to and that's not necessarily bad. But two people who truely love each other will settle into a seperate life that doesn't require that excitement and those are the one who will last.

I'll never understand how you can be with someone for the better part of a decade (or longer in some cases) then just wake up one day and decide to piss it all away. I mean I figure if someone was gonna do that they'd do it pretty early on. Bah...women.

Racing Rice · 03-28-2006, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GT40FIED

Ok Jeremy...here's what you do. You go out and find a goose and...oh wait...that's what I'd do. Scratch that.

Dude! I'm liking this idea more and more.. She needs beat with a goose. Maybe the goose could knock some sense into her.

Quote:

I'll never understand how you can be with someone for the better part of a decade (or longer in some cases) then just wake up one day and decide to piss it all away. I mean I figure if someone was gonna do that they'd do it pretty early on. Bah...women.

Thats the part that I just don't get either. I know that what I did wasn't right, but IMO it isn't THAT big of a deal that it can't be worked out and forgiven. Who knows what the hell are going through thier minds.

Robert · 03-29-2006, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GT40FIED

I'll never understand how you can be with someone for the better part of a decade (or longer in some cases) then just wake up one day and decide to piss it all away. I mean I figure if someone was gonna do that they'd do it pretty early on. Bah...women.

You'll never understand until you walk the walk yourself.

revival · 03-29-2006, 09:16 PM

i'm surprised no female has stepped in during this conversation... ignore this if you want, but it's my two cents.
to be honest my relationship with my bf was a lot like your marriage. yes, i was talking to other guys, but it never escalated beyond that. if you've checked my profile and noticed that i'm 17, yes i've been dating one guy for the past 4.5 years. even while dating him i was talking to other guys and for just over a year it became a long distance relationship. so my thoughts wandered. but it was simply lust... i felt nothing for those guys, it was just fun to talk. and then when i finally moved back into the same city with my bf, lo and behold, the sh1t hits the fan.
the first week of summer in my new house he calls me and tells me that he has "stuff" to do, and if he got caught he didn't want me to be involved... that "stuff" was all a lie. he was testing me... two months later (when school started again) he calls me up and apologized and wanted to get back together with me... and so i did (don't ask... i love him so i was willing. love makes you do STUPID things). so on with the story, a few months down the road my computer crashes and he goes to fix it. my electronic diary is on the harddrive. people have told me that it's MY diary and he had no right to read it, but if i said he couldn't then he would be like "what are you hiding from me?" so... he read it, then the hell began... he found out i had been talking to this guy and flirting with another... but i NEVER did anything but talk! ....
we fought all last year, he was saying that i had become too cold (well no duh, i was dumped over the summer) and uncaring. but we eventually came to a compromise (after fighting every other day). we were sort of even now; him for testing me and me for lying.... okay so maybe we were both wrong on some level... but he were the oneshot relationship kind of guy, meaning "if the first girl doesn't work then i'm single for the rest of my life." the extreme monogamist. but whatever... we did manage 2 work it out in the end...

my explanation for this form of infidelity is that maybe she feels like she's missing something. just a speculation, i wouldn't know. but that's how i felt when i was talking to the other guys. i was missing the flirting and feeling of being desired...

really try talking to her. your wife running away during a problem like this is not right. you two are adults and adults know everything right?

03-27-2006, 07:31 PM	#1
GT40FIED Best...mod...ever Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: At the end of the longest line Age: 44 Posts: 7,451	Ok Jeremy...here's what you do. You go out and find a goose and...oh wait...that's what I'd do. Scratch that. Here's the bottom line man. I think we've already established that you're going to be the only one acting like an adult here and as such you're the only one entitled to make adult decisions. If she's going to run away every time shit gets difficult, you're going to have one helluva problem marriage. Every marriage has problems...even the best ones...so it's important to learn how to face those problems head on. If she's unwilling to do that you have no future with her. Sorry man, but there it is. It's a matter of nature that the "newness" and initial excitement will wear off in any relationship...it has to and that's not necessarily bad. But two people who truely love each other will settle into a seperate life that doesn't require that excitement and those are the one who will last. I'll never understand how you can be with someone for the better part of a decade (or longer in some cases) then just wake up one day and decide to piss it all away. I mean I figure if someone was gonna do that they'd do it pretty early on. Bah...women. __________________ 1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika

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03-29-2006, 09:16 PM	#4
revival Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Toronto, ON Age: 37 Posts: 73	i'm surprised no female has stepped in during this conversation... ignore this if you want, but it's my two cents. to be honest my relationship with my bf was a lot like your marriage. yes, i was talking to other guys, but it never escalated beyond that. if you've checked my profile and noticed that i'm 17, yes i've been dating one guy for the past 4.5 years. even while dating him i was talking to other guys and for just over a year it became a long distance relationship. so my thoughts wandered. but it was simply lust... i felt nothing for those guys, it was just fun to talk. and then when i finally moved back into the same city with my bf, lo and behold, the sh1t hits the fan. the first week of summer in my new house he calls me and tells me that he has "stuff" to do, and if he got caught he didn't want me to be involved... that "stuff" was all a lie. he was testing me... two months later (when school started again) he calls me up and apologized and wanted to get back together with me... and so i did (don't ask... i love him so i was willing. love makes you do STUPID things). so on with the story, a few months down the road my computer crashes and he goes to fix it. my electronic diary is on the harddrive. people have told me that it's MY diary and he had no right to read it, but if i said he couldn't then he would be like "what are you hiding from me?" so... he read it, then the hell began... he found out i had been talking to this guy and flirting with another... but i NEVER did anything but talk! .... we fought all last year, he was saying that i had become too cold (well no duh, i was dumped over the summer) and uncaring. but we eventually came to a compromise (after fighting every other day). we were sort of even now; him for testing me and me for lying.... okay so maybe we were both wrong on some level... but he were the oneshot relationship kind of guy, meaning "if the first girl doesn't work then i'm single for the rest of my life." the extreme monogamist. but whatever... we did manage 2 work it out in the end... my explanation for this form of infidelity is that maybe she feels like she's missing something. just a speculation, i wouldn't know. but that's how i felt when i was talking to the other guys. i was missing the flirting and feeling of being desired... really try talking to her. your wife running away during a problem like this is not right. you two are adults and adults know everything right?