Well, it finally happened.

[nonovurbizniz]

Originally Posted by Racing Rice

I agree 100%.. I do not want to get a divorce unless there is just no way to bring it back. I will do everything in my power to make this relationship work.

Trying to avoid being one statistic makes you another...

I'm not trying to fan the flames or anything... but if you ask me even talking to some guy married or not CROSSES THE LINE... she LIED and hid stuff from you...

I went through similar problems with my wife a couple months ago only she spent money (a LOT) w/o telling me and lyed about it...

Same thing she won't confront much less admit she has problems and it's making our lives SUCK...

We have 2 kids already so it makes it MUCH worse splitting up but at this point I really don't see any other option...

In my case we could stay married as long as I shut up and let her be whoever she is... but that's not good for the family... and me constantly trying to get her to do things she's NOT going to do is not good for the family... frankly splitting up provides the best family situation (at least that's how I see it now)... of course financially I CAN NOT afford to move out... so we're still together for now.

Now I don't know any details about your situation other than what I just read... and I'll say the same thing to you as I said to my wife...

" You LIED... it doesn't matter what it was about, you lied... I didn't KNOW you lied when you did... how can I EVER trust you?"

Seriously... anyone willing to cross the line and break the trust of marriage is NOT ready for marriage.

Chances are if you try to make it work your just gunna end up being the nice guy that finished WAY WAY WAY last... instead of just last.

Do you want to deal with being single now and getting divorced now or when you've already built up savings have joint assetts... make more money... are older or god forbid have kids together???

I'm not saying drop out the first chance you get... but if my wife was having regular secret conversations (whether or not they were sexual or led anywhere) I'd be out the door in under a second.

If SHE wanted to work things out it would take a LOT of convincing for me to EVER even CONSIDER getting back together... and frankly I don't think I would even if I believed her.

Really not trying to incite you just sharing my opinions on my similar-ish situation.

[V8killimports]

First thing first you need to go to marriage counseling with your wife. If there are issues and she really does want to work things out she will do ANYTHING to do it.. if she doesn't want to go to marriage counseling the next step I would take is getting a lawyer because she obviously doesn't want to work things out. Regardless of all of this I would also hire a PI to see what exactly she is up to from day to day. Some people say this is distrustful, but she has lost your trust as it is and has no reason to be trusted.

I would not hesitate on doing any of this either. I would suggest maggiage counseling in the next day or so. Also visit this site.. www.marriagebuilders.com and check out their forums. They have lots of good information and people to ask questions and should have some great advice.

[JDMFantasy2k]

Originally Posted by V8killimports

First thing first you need to go to marriage counseling with your wife. If there are issues and she really does want to work things out she will do ANYTHING to do it.. if she doesn't want to go to marriage counseling the next step I would take is getting a lawyer because she obviously doesn't want to work things out. Regardless of all of this I would also hire a PI to see what exactly she is up to from day to day. Some people say this is distrustful, but she has lost your trust as it is and has no reason to be trusted.

I would not hesitate on doing any of this either. I would suggest maggiage counseling in the next day or so. Also visit this site.. www.marriagebuilders.com and check out their forums. They have lots of good information and people to ask questions and should have some great advice.

well said.

As for the 2 previous posts i can see where you're both comming from. Yeah you have that instinct, leave her and be done with it. But at the same time it seems like you don't want to accept it so you play nice guy and try to fix things. I'm the same way. I'd say at this point continue with your plan jeremy, you don't really have anything to lose at this point so you might as damn well try. Good luck man!