Computer system for married men (even funny for those who arnt)

[mavaaoife]

Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
> 1.0. I soon noticed that
> the new program began unexpected child processing
> that took up a lot of
> space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installed itself into
> all other programs and now monitors all other
> system>activity. Applications
> such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and
> Fishing 7.5, and Racing
> 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected.
>
> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
> while attempting to run my
> favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back
> to Girlfriend 7.0, but
> the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
> Thanks,
> A Troubled User.



REPLY:
> Dear Troubled User:
>
> This is a very common problem that men complain
> about.
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
> thinking that it is
> just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0
> is an OPERATING SYSTEM
> and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
> It is also impossible to
> delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It
> is impossible to
> uninstall, or purge the program files from the
> system once installed.
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
> 1.0 is designed to not
> allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
> Warnings-Alimony-Child
> Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work
> on improving the
> situation. I suggest installing the background
> application "Yes Dear" to
> alleviate software augmentation.
> The best course of action is to enter the command
> C:\APOLOGIZE because
> ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command before the system
> will return to normal anyway.
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
> high maintenance. Wife
> 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as
> Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
> It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful
> how you use these
> programs. Improper use will cause the system to
> launch the program Nag, Nag
> 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the
> performance of Wife 1.0
> is to purchase additional software. I recommend
> Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
> 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,
> install Secretary With
> Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported
> by Wife 1.0 and will
> cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support