Fascinate (joke)

[Accord Man]

A few more..

>>LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
>>
>>Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
>>after
>>another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
>>said, "Son,
>>you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
>>acne,
>>rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>>
>>Little BILLY replied "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
>>
>>"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
>>time?
>>
>>"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*cking business!!"
>>
>>
>>
>>LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
>>
>>A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
>>and you
>>shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
>>BILLY.
>>
>>He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
>>
>>The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>>tbinking"
>>
>>Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3
>>women
>>sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
>>sides of
>>the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top
>>and
>>sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
>>Which
>>one is married?"
>>
>>The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the
>>one
>>that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>>
>>To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
>>the
>>wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
>>
>>
>>
>>LITTLE BILLY ON... MATHS:
>>
>>Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
>>arithmetic.
>>
>>"Why?" asks the father."
>>
>>"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
>>
>>"But that's right!" says his dad.
>>
>>"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
>>
>>"What's the f*cking difference? " asks the father.
>>
>>"That's what I said!"
>>
>>
>>
>>LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
>>
>>Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
>>going to
>>learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of
>>a
>>multi-syllable word?"
>>
>>BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
>>
>>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a
>>mouthful."
>>
>>Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>>
>>
>>
>>LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
>>
>>One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
>>show of
>>hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
>>sentence
>>twice.
>>
>>First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
>>bought my
>>mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>>
>>"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
>>
>>She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful
>>banquet
>>and it turned out beautifully."
>>
>>The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"
>>
>>Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY. "Last night, at the
>>dinner
>>table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said
>>"Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!