Let me just start preparing the script now...
Code:
if($username== "TonitrusEN") {
$comment = "Dude, is that a joke?";
}
else if ($username == "hondaman-iac") {
$comment = "Photos cannot be displayed for banned users";
}
else if ($username == "VRGNCD5") {
$comment = "Is that a Yugo?";
}