.:HSTuners::

black95gs-t · 12-06-2003, 07:24 PM

Maybe y'all can help me with this one. As most of you already know, I am a Marine. Well I have had this one girlfriend for quite some time and within the last few months,(since I got back from Iraq) she has been, well, really bitchy. She tells me that she needs to be a priority in my life and that she feels I am neglecting her and that I spend too much time doing Marine things. My responce is always that she is a priority in my life just not the first one. There is no way for her to be the first priority in my life. My job has to be. If I am not good at my job, I don't get fired. Me and alot of other people get dead. I am always running or working out, or trying to learn new tactics, or ground combat skills in addition to the Marine Corps being a big Cluster F***. We often have our plans changed at the last minute and I don't have a chance to tell her until after whatever it is that we had to do is over. I have tried in vain to explain this to her, but am met with accusations of exaggeration, and just plain lying. We are going back this summer and are trying to fit a year worth of training into six months. we had a loooooooooooong schedule. Am I being unreasonable in asking for certain understandings when it comes to this? Please tell me if I am. I don't think so. But I could be completley wrong though. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
J

12-06-2003, 10:26 PM

No, your not being unreasonable. First thing to tell a girlfriend or wife is your possibility of being away for a long amount of time. Since, you said you told her, and there is nothing you can do about it. By staying with you, she is saying that she is willing to try and live with it. NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE IN THE MILITARY OR HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MILITARY INIDIVIDUAL. If that significant other can't handle it, and decides to leave, then you know you did your best to work things out and shouldn't feel like it's your fault or that your were unreasonable. You can't make someone like the military. Either you do or don't. But if the other person really wants to be with you, then she will. Simple as that, no matter how hard it is. GOOD LUCK!

12-07-2003, 02:06 PM

You're being totally reasonable, she's being unreasonable. It takes a strong person and relationship to deal with the stresses and difficulties of military life, especially those involving combat roles.

Lots of people just don't understand how the military is, and that causes problems. In the long run she'll have to choose whether to accept it or to move on, because it doesn't get much easier.

Special Forces have the highest divorce rates.

Coincidence, I think not. Marines and Navy are probably a close 2nd.

All you can really do is try to explain to her. If she doesn't believe you, then she either doesn't trust you or just probably won't ever understand. Many civilians can't understand for various reasons, the concepts of the military are beyond their comprehension.

Best of luck.

b

GT40FIED · 12-07-2003, 09:22 PM

Look man...it's as easy as this: if all Marines put their women in front of their careers we'd all be f@cked since the Marines are the usually the first ones on the ground in a battle and the last ones out. If they aren't dedicated enough to put bitchy gf's aside, we're all screwed. If she doesn't get that, she's not worth your time.

BlackWolf · 12-08-2003, 07:47 AM

Yeah, what he said! ^^^

*ChrisCantSkate* · 12-08-2003, 08:12 AM

she sounds like an attention whore who goes crazy if she's not getting someones full attention.... my 2 cents

black95gs-t · 12-11-2003, 07:16 PM

Actually she LOVES attention. One night I was swaping stories with her dad, he was in the Navy. She was so pissed at me for talking to her dad for like an hour that she wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. If only I had noticed it then.
J

thermal · 12-11-2003, 07:46 PM

Dude, I know exactly what you mean. My girl couldnt handle me being gone for so long. After I got back from the war, we split up after a 6 yr relationship. It's not really a matter of choice for us. It's a matter of understanding from them............ If you are meant to be together, then it shall be.......

Just remember, it takes a lot for someone to understand what we do. That's the easy part. For that someone to actually accept what we do is what makes that someone special.

12-06-2003, 07:24 PM	#1
black95gs-t Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Southern Cali Age: 42 Posts: 728	Women and Military Men Maybe y'all can help me with this one. As most of you already know, I am a Marine. Well I have had this one girlfriend for quite some time and within the last few months,(since I got back from Iraq) she has been, well, really bitchy. She tells me that she needs to be a priority in my life and that she feels I am neglecting her and that I spend too much time doing Marine things. My responce is always that she is a priority in my life just not the first one. There is no way for her to be the first priority in my life. My job has to be. If I am not good at my job, I don't get fired. Me and alot of other people get dead. I am always running or working out, or trying to learn new tactics, or ground combat skills in addition to the Marine Corps being a big Cluster F***. We often have our plans changed at the last minute and I don't have a chance to tell her until after whatever it is that we had to do is over. I have tried in vain to explain this to her, but am met with accusations of exaggeration, and just plain lying. We are going back this summer and are trying to fit a year worth of training into six months. we had a loooooooooooong schedule. Am I being unreasonable in asking for certain understandings when it comes to this? Please tell me if I am. I don't think so. But I could be completley wrong though. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! J __________________ LOONEY TUNES!!!! "Hearts and minds gents.... And if that doesn't work, two in the heart and one in the mind." "Life sucks.....so drop your pants and let the good times roll!" Mycivicjust8u

12-07-2003, 09:22 PM	#4
GT40FIED Best...mod...ever Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: At the end of the longest line Age: 42 Posts: 7,451	Look man...it's as easy as this: if all Marines put their women in front of their careers we'd all be f@cked since the Marines are the usually the first ones on the ground in a battle and the last ones out. If they aren't dedicated enough to put bitchy gf's aside, we're all screwed. If she doesn't get that, she's not worth your time. __________________ 1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika

12-08-2003, 07:47 AM	#5
BlackWolf La Loba Loca Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nor Cal Posts: 1,016	Yeah, what he said! ^^^ __________________ Does the noise in my head bother you??

12-08-2003, 08:12 AM	#6
ChrisCantSkate Thought Police Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: orlando florida Age: 40 Posts: 9,662	she sounds like an attention whore who goes crazy if she's not getting someones full attention.... my 2 cents __________________ Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold.

12-11-2003, 07:16 PM	#7
black95gs-t Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Southern Cali Age: 42 Posts: 728	Actually she LOVES attention. One night I was swaping stories with her dad, he was in the Navy. She was so pissed at me for talking to her dad for like an hour that she wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. If only I had noticed it then. J __________________ LOONEY TUNES!!!! "Hearts and minds gents.... And if that doesn't work, two in the heart and one in the mind." "Life sucks.....so drop your pants and let the good times roll!" Mycivicjust8u

12-06-2003, 10:26 PM	#2
Anotherslo1 Posts: n/a	No, your not being unreasonable. First thing to tell a girlfriend or wife is your possibility of being away for a long amount of time. Since, you said you told her, and there is nothing you can do about it. By staying with you, she is saying that she is willing to try and live with it. NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE IN THE MILITARY OR HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MILITARY INIDIVIDUAL. If that significant other can't handle it, and decides to leave, then you know you did your best to work things out and shouldn't feel like it's your fault or that your were unreasonable. You can't make someone like the military. Either you do or don't. But if the other person really wants to be with you, then she will. Simple as that, no matter how hard it is. GOOD LUCK!

12-07-2003, 02:06 PM	#3
spoogenet Posts: n/a	You're being totally reasonable, she's being unreasonable. It takes a strong person and relationship to deal with the stresses and difficulties of military life, especially those involving combat roles. Lots of people just don't understand how the military is, and that causes problems. In the long run she'll have to choose whether to accept it or to move on, because it doesn't get much easier. Special Forces have the highest divorce rates. Coincidence, I think not. Marines and Navy are probably a close 2nd. All you can really do is try to explain to her. If she doesn't believe you, then she either doesn't trust you or just probably won't ever understand. Many civilians can't understand for various reasons, the concepts of the military are beyond their comprehension. Best of luck. b

12-11-2003, 07:46 PM	#8
thermal Banning Machine Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: My Garage, Va. Posts: 5,547	Dude, I know exactly what you mean. My girl couldnt handle me being gone for so long. After I got back from the war, we split up after a 6 yr relationship. It's not really a matter of choice for us. It's a matter of understanding from them............ If you are meant to be together, then it shall be....... Just remember, it takes a lot for someone to understand what we do. That's the easy part. For that someone to actually accept what we do is what makes that someone special. __________________ Project Teg Visit the Turbo Forum

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