>>>>The Rules -- This Time By Men

[Accord Man]

Received this thru e-mail..


>>>>
>>>>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
>>>>here are the rules from the male side. These are our
>>>>rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON
>>>>PURPOSE
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
>>>>if it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
>>>>down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it
>>>>down.
>>>>
>>>>1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
>>>>quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet
>>>>again!
>>>>
>>>>1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
>>>>changing of the tides. Let it be.
>>>>
>>>>1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more
>>>>attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons
>>>>guys fear getting married is that married women always
>>>>cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
>>>>
>>>>1. Crying is blackmail...big time!!!!
>>>>
>>>>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>>>>Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
>>>>Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>>>>1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and
>>>>anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently
>>>>beforehand.
>>>>
>>>>1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What
>>>>makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which
>>>>pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
>>>>
>>>>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>>>argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
>>>>after 7 days
>>>>
>>>>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
>>>>girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>>>
>>>>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
>>>>ask us. We refuse to answer.
>>>>
>>>>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
>>>>say during commercials.
>>>>
>>>>1. The relationship is never going to be like it was
>>>>the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
>>>>And quit whining to your girlfriends.
>>>>
>>>>1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
>>>>lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
>>>>little we care about you.
>>>>
>>>>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
>>>>will act like nothing's wrong and that things are
>>>>perfect. We know you are lying, but it is just not
>>>>worth the hassle to ask 50 times before we hear it.
>>>>
>>>>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
>>>>you wear is fine. Really.
>>>>
>>>>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
>>>>are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, sci-fi,
>>>>monster trucks or breasts.
>>>>
>>>>1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take
>>>>the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>>>>
>>>>1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
>>>>sleep on the couch
>>>>tonight. But did you know we really don't mind that?
>>>>It's like camping!
>>>>So well there you have it.