.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
12-28-2005, 05:43 PM
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#1 |
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Best...mod...ever
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: At the end of the longest line
Age: 42
Posts: 7,451
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Destroying the english language Pt. 1
As I'm back in Kansas City for holiday break, I've come to truely appreciate the kind of stupidity that only the diverse crosshatch of individuals in a larger city can provide. While at work shortly before Xmas, I encountered a gentleman using a part of speech I once thought was only a legend...the elusive triple negative. This man wanted to make a return but was without receipt. When I inquired about said receipt, his reply was (and I quote) "I ain't never needed no receipt before". Floored, I continued my quest...prodding him to possibly invent the quadruple negative. I myself have been trying to create a quadruple negative for years but alas have fallen short (you think I'm kidding...I'm not). Sure, it's possible, but it just doesn't sound right. So, after a lung kick to the solarplexes for lowering my IQ with the kind of smarts demonstrated by a retard fucking a doorknob, I processed his return and sent him on his way. Nevermind the fact that "ain't" isn't a real word (it might be in the dictionary...I'm too lazy to look. Even if it is, no two words make up that contraction, so get bent), his redneck drawl was too much for me to handle. After stroking out for a bit, I came to and started thinking about how idiot assholes like this will surely destroy the english language because, as a matter of biology, the stupid tend to reproduce more plentifully than the intelligent (see: mormons). I've become used to double negatives, especially when dealing with black folks and white kids who think they're black folks and that bugs me...but a triple negative sent me into a realm of stupid only foreseen in episodes of the twilight zone...or possibly theorized by Stephen Hawking, if any. Slowly but surely, we're all being dumbed down by ourselves.
Stay tuned for Pt. 2 and maybe 3 where I explain why the phrase "cheddah" cannot be used as a term for denominations of currency and why "tYp1nG LyKe D1$" or any purposeful mispelling of words in a phonetical context (especially when they're not even abbreviations) should be grounds for justifiable homicide.
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1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika |
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12-28-2005, 06:03 PM
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#2 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Age: 38
Posts: 5,446
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 Steve you really ought to write a book. Seriously just compile ever little short like this and you will have one fantastic book that can keep us laughing for hours.
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12-28-2005, 06:46 PM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 548
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Hahaha, very good dude.
But mathematically, his triple negative actually got his point out (remember, double negative is contradictory)  |
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12-28-2005, 07:16 PM
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#4 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Age: 38
Posts: 5,446
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Quote:
it's the point that it's bad grammar. when i worked at CircuitCity we had some redneck come in and ask "do you have some of them surround around sound systems" I had to fuck behind a shelf as I continued to laugh my ass off ps, I meant duck...but that damn F key is right next to the D... 
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Last edited by CD5Passion : 12-29-2005 at 06:14 AM. |
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12-28-2005, 07:58 PM
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#5 |
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Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze!
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Meanwhile, up in The D...
Age: 40
Posts: 10,579
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Im totally on board with this one. It does seem that the more "cognitively-impaired" reproduce more readily
But hey, at least he impressed you |
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12-28-2005, 08:05 PM
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#6 | |
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Best...mod...ever
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: At the end of the longest line
Age: 42
Posts: 7,451
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Quote:
Ummmm....speaking of grammatical impracticalities...
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1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika |
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12-28-2005, 08:29 PM
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#7 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 548
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I know that Darin, I guess my attempt of bringing another interesting pt in this thread failed badly  . |
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12-28-2005, 09:37 PM
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#8 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Age: 38
Posts: 5,446
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Quote:
woops
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12-29-2005, 05:38 AM
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#9 |
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Banning Machine
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: My Garage, Va.
Posts: 5,547
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BUwa ha ha ha ha ha haa.....
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01-03-2006, 04:09 PM
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#10 | ||
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Stefan's A Sheep Fucker
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: N.C.
Age: 48
Posts: 3,748
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Steve...you really need to start smoking weed (or more weed as the case may be) so as to keep yourself from analyzing shit on such a deep nature....
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Rob  Quote:
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HondaStyle.com Babysitter's Club Member #7 Anna Fan Club Member #1 |
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