My Now Ex Fiance

He was everything i wanted in a guy... he loved going to car shows, helped me fix up my car, good at... ummm.... stuff... and he asked me to marry him. then he broke it off and left me broken hearted... for what seemed like no reason at all. and i came back to NJ... it's been a little over a month and he wants to meet half way for a weekend so we can talk things out... i'm just starting have open spaces in my day without wondering what he's doing or how he;s feeling... i dunno if i should go... i kinda feel like if i don't then i'm giving up something that was just meant to be... i'm so confused... any advice????? i know you guys probably need more info, but the story is so confusing...

how much do you still care for the guy? if you still have some feelings for the guy make the time.

if you think hes just lonely and wants to mess with you, do the talking over the phone or have him come to you.

Theres a few things that could have happened here, one of them being is he got scared of the idea of being married to someone.

either way decide where you want this relationship to go, how you feel about the guy and if its worht starting things up again.

If theres something there dont let one wrong stop you from meeting him for a weekend.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

agreed with mt. biker...you gotta figure out what you want. He apparently decided what he wanted and then realized that he fugged up. So you gotta figure out how much you still care about him and whether you can trust him again. You need to do stuff to make you happy. In life if you arent happy with yourself or where you are going then there is no way that you can help make someone else happy. Sit down and think or talk to someone very close to you about this. Try to figure out what you want and go from there. Good luck and keep us posted.

Not to sound like a broken record....but here goes.

Definitely figure out what you want first. Do you know what he wants? If not, and you want him, then definitely talk things over with him. Try to understand why he broke things off if you don't already. It could be something you can work through, or it may be permanent. But it's better to know than to live your life wondering why and what could have been if only you had done something differently.

Most important of all, be true to yourself.

If he did get scared of getting married, though, and he deals with problems by running away....that's something significant to consider in a relationship.

b

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
agreed with mt. biker...you gotta figure out what you want. He apparently decided what he wanted and then realized that he fugged up. So you gotta figure out how much you still care about him and whether you can trust him again. You need to do stuff to make you happy. In life if you arent happy with yourself or where you are going then there is no way that you can help make someone else happy. Sit down and think or talk to someone very close to you about this. Try to figure out what you want and go from there. Good luck and keep us posted.

wow d we like a tag team, i agree completly

summarize: figure out what you want and if he fits into that.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by mt.biker


wow d we like a tag team, i agree completly

summarize: figure out what you want and if he fits into that.

yah we rock!

[Wren57]

Another thing: if he broke it off, and you still have some positive feelings for him, and he feels genuinly sorry, you should talk with him... maybe he will admit to his mistake and yall can move on

Trust me, if he admits to a major mistake and truly apologizes, he is worth giving another shot to...

Let us know what happens

Hmm. Maybe he wasn't ready to get married.

So he calls me last night.. like he has been for the past few nights... and he tells me that he can't believe he brokeup with me and he f*cked up his life so bad by doing it. He said he doesn't expect me to forgive him for it, but he needs to atleast hang out with me... he offered to pay for the hotel, give me gas money, even pay for food. i feel like he's trying to redeem himself, but my family thinks he's just doing it to get some booty (and if he really wanted some booty, he could get some from some local girls). i told him i would go... and he's all excited now... i'm happy about it, but a little nervous too...

Originally posted by sparklingxtasy
So he calls me last night.. like he has been for the past few nights... and he tells me that he can't believe he brokeup with me and he f*cked up his life so bad by doing it. He said he doesn't expect me to forgive him for it, but he needs to atleast hang out with me... he offered to pay for the hotel, give me gas money, even pay for food. i feel like he's trying to redeem himself, but my family thinks he's just doing it to get some booty (and if he really wanted some booty, he could get some from some local girls). i told him i would go... and he's all excited now... i'm happy about it, but a little nervous too...

well i'd say if you think hes making a booty call just make sure you dont end up sleeping with him. Its the easiest way to make sure if thats what he wants its not what he gets. remember "your in control" so dont let somethign happen you dont want to, might i add you never know where he's been or what he has or has not got right now, so you two should keep your pants on... that is ofcourse unless your making a booty call

well i think its a good thing your going, but i wouldn't be expecting too much if i was you. btw how come he didn't come to you?
Is he the type of guy to make a booty call? (btw not all guys make booty calls so i dont want to hear anything along those lines)

here's an idea, on the drive there run through somethings you'd like to ask him to better understand where hes coming from. Or try deciding what he has to do to get you back (dont tell him ofcourse) and see if he does it.

i'm assuming your going because you would take him back, right?

ok... god i'm so confused... he was calling me everynight and always letting me know where he was going and who he was hanging out with, as if we were together... kinda like he thought of us as a couple.. he was telling me he loved me and he wants to be with me and he'd like for me to move back with him. he called on sunday and everything was normal. on monday he went away for work, but said he got a calling card so he could call. i didn't hear from him until yesterday when he left me an away message on my yahoo, demanding to know who one of the screen names i had added since we broke up was. grrrr... so i decided just to call him and see what was going on. i called and he totally blew me off! i thought he'd sound a little happy to talk to me, but all he said was, "I'm getting ready to go out with my friends." so i said fine, and hung up on him. i don't understand. i'm gonna tell him that i dont want to do this little trip thing, he hurt me so bad by breaking the engagement, and i don't think i can handle it again. grrrrrrrrrr... i'm so confused.

I think this guy's playing games with you...from what it seems to me. I really don't want to give you advice that screws something up because of a misunderstanding on mine/your part, so all I'm going to say is follow what your heart tells you. People here can give you 100 different/maybe same suggestions, yet you are going to do what feels right in your heart, and I think that's what matters. You're a big girl make, you need to make decisions on your own. Well *hugz* dont' worry, we'll still try to help. Keep us updated.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

ugh is your ex's name Mike? Cuz he really sounds like my ex-bf. What a pain in the @ss sometimes! You definitely need too look out for yourself. Your heart and gut instinct will tell you mind and body what you need to do to protect/take care of yourself. All we can do is tell ya what we would do in your situation and be here for support. Which we all will be. So do what you think you need to do and keep us updated. Good luck girl!

Sounds to me like hes having mood swings, stay clear of this guy. why is it that people never learn, get burned once and you come back for more. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES!

so here we sit broken hearted... trid to s**t but ony farted

sparklingxtasy:

I totally agree with everyone in this thread. There is only one piece of advice that I can suggest. If you are going to anything do it now. You might aswell try it, if you get hurt you are already trying to deal with it. This might put some closure. If you end up waiting you will always wonder if. If you also wait and he comes back, is he coming back because he couldn't find anyone. That is probably the worst feeling you can have.

I hope that this advice isn't too late.

Civic_North

Id say do what is in your heart, he could either 1) just be lonley looking for some.....uh....."hang out time"
2) He really did get scared and really did realize what he lost.

I don't know him, so I can't say. If you guys were gonna get married Im sure you know him almost inside and out. What do you really belive deep inside? Id go with that little voice inside Good luck!!

you guys are awesome with your advice. I haven't talked to him in over a week now, he's made no attempts whatsoever to come in contact with me. i don't know what his problem is. The last time i talked to him online i told him i would appreciate him not F**king with my head, and if he loved me, then we'll work from there. We got into an argument and haven't talked since. I don't understand him at all, but i'm not going to be his "backup", only there when he wants me to be. a relationship works both ways, if he can't be there for me when I need him, then i'm not gonna hang around for him. i truely do love him, and i think about him all the time, but I've accepted it, thanks to you all. sometimes it's just better to let go...

[Racing Rice]

Sounds to me like hes having fun playing little games with your head.. Its one thing to be sorry about what he did its another thing to act like that. Sounds to me like he has issues he needs to work out, and youd be better off not being around while he does.

Hope everything goes ok, and you can get some peace of mind one way or another.

Originally posted by sparklingxtasy
you guys are awesome with your advice. I haven't talked to him in over a week now, he's made no attempts whatsoever to come in contact with me. i don't know what his problem is. The last time i talked to him online i told him i would appreciate him not F**king with my head, and if he loved me, then we'll work from there. We got into an argument and haven't talked since. I don't understand him at all, but i'm not going to be his "backup", only there when he wants me to be. a relationship works both ways, if he can't be there for me when I need him, then i'm not gonna hang around for him. i truely do love him, and i think about him all the time, but I've accepted it, thanks to you all. sometimes it's just better to let go...

FORGET HIM
i dont think i need to say anymore!