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Old 01-26-2003, 09:23 AM   #1
ChrisCantSkate
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Some new Ponderings by George Carlin

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" &"oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in
front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
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Old 01-26-2003, 10:38 AM   #2
pdiggitydogg
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i thought tug boats did pull other boats
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Old 01-26-2003, 11:44 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by pdiggitydogg
i thought tug boats did pull other boats


They do both, really.
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Old 01-26-2003, 12:40 PM   #4
Rob
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Re: Some new Ponderings by George Carlin

Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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Quote:
Originally posted by IALuder
thats why i use a sock.

Quote:
Originally posted by MissJDM
Darin, please confirm that you don't like the cock!

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Old 01-26-2003, 01:41 PM   #5
ebpda9
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LOL. i liked the first one
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Old 01-26-2003, 07:33 PM   #6
94_AcCoRd_EX
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Lol those are all funny
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Old 01-26-2003, 07:42 PM   #7
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AAHAHAHHAHA those rock man.
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Old 07-16-2020, 08:19 AM   #8
ForgottenPlace
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It's been so many years, and his videos are still relevant. Saw the topic, registered, and even decided on necroposting. It's a pity there's no one like him right now.
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