That special someone???

I met that special someone.
And he makes me the happiest person in the world. When we are not together i can think of him and smile will shine on my face. And when I see him come home after work, I get that feeling in me, that I am happiest woman in this world. I could spend the rest of my life with him. BUT he says that he will never get married. He doesn't wanna kids. And i think that kids is biggest gift that woman can give to a man. But not with my man. He says he loves me. But what should I do????
Just accept it?

Maybe hes just feels to young to have kids right now. If your both 19 it might just take time for him to warm up to the idea of kids. As for the marriage thing I'm not sure what to say, I think its important but not all guys do.

Is the idea of not getting married and not having kids somethign that would end the relationship? Does he know you want kids and to be married? What does he say to your feelings? Could you possibly be moving to fast and hes just tapping the breaks?

[Racing Rice]

Give him time.. Chances are as he gets older he will change his mind.

I use to say I would never get married and have kids.. Im now married. I dont kids right now, maybe later though. I still wanna have my freedom.

What Rob and RR said.

Congrats on finding someone you think is "the one."

I don't like kids and I currently say that I don't want kids. I used to want them, but not so much anymore. However it is something that is up for negotiation. I mainly don't want kids anytime soon, I wouldn't write them off completely for my lifetime. Maybe in 5-10 years I'll want kids. I'll need to meet a great woman first, though, and that's what's holding me back at the moment.

I also would like to reiterate the question RR asked: does he know just how you feel about kids and what's his response to your feelings?

b

[Rob]

Pretty much what everyone else said....just give it some time and enjoy each other's company, etc. for now.....

[nonovurbizniz]

How old are you that your all itchy to have kids?

[ebpda9]

that sounded to me more like a poem

i don't have anything else to say. it's all been said

Yeah, I think you're just jumping the gun. Don't scare the guy right off the bat with these kinds of feelings. If the relationship lasts, in time, things will change! Right now, it's still WAY TOO EARLY to be talking about kids and marriage. Most guys will get scared because of that...trust me.

the thing is I never talked to him about it, or asked him about it, he just says it when we see other friends that getting married.
But I never started that conversation with him. I don't want him to know.
and no one was talking about getting married right now, its just I think he will never change his mind. And I know he is the ONE for me.

Yeah, but how old are the both of you and how long have you been together? How long have you two known one another?

more details are needed on this... fill us in

on second thought this sounds like something that a gf did bring up with me once. We'd been dating for 7-8 months she said she loved me, wanted to get married and have my childern. She also told me she would follow me where ever in the country i went aslong as she could be with me. Needless to say I have a good head on my shoulders, we were 18 at the time and there was no way i would marry that girl (long and boring story). I REALLY hope you think this through before you break this to your bf who is "the one" if he doesn't feel the same way or you're imagining how he really is.. BOOM there goes your relationship. You cannot be dating a girl who wants to get knocked up, cause guess what happens... she DOES! And now the guy is in a tough spot. He didn't want kids (yet or ever) but he has feelings for his gf and now he has to be responsible and take care of this child. Please dont trap your bf... that goes out to all the ladies! (not just you)

[nonovurbizniz]

You "know" nothing....

if you want kids and he doesn't that sounds like a pretty resounding "you shouldn't be together"

besides that from the sound of it neither one of you have ANY idea what you want for the rest of your life.

that's not trying to be condisending but.... come on noboby KNOWS how they will feel about anything forever.

Since we are lacking details of this relationship:

My best friend was "certain she was the one" and was "going to marry" 2 of his past ex-girlfriends, and is currently "certain she is the one" and is "going to marry" his 3rd gf.

My girlfriend was certain her ex was "the one." She currently believe i am "the one." Not to knock her (of course), but I think becoming fixated prematurely on if the person is going to be "the one" is usually not a good thing. Only time will tell if that person will be the right one for you.

My viewpoint on my relationship is, I don't say that my girlfriend is "the one", however, its obvious that i don't intend on ending my relationship with her. Talking about moving in, marraige, and kids is usually just trouble. HOWEVER, I think it IS OK to DISCUSS that with your partner. Just instead of saying "I want to have your baby", mabye you want to state it as "what do you think about kids, when you get married do you plan on having them?"

I think i wrote entirely too much.

the average lady has first kid around age 25... like juvenile said... dont jump the gun

Originally posted by LilCivicGirl
I met that special someone.
And he makes me the happiest person in the world. When we are not together i can think of him and smile will shine on my face. And when I see him come home after work, I get that feeling in me, that I am happiest woman in this world. I could spend the rest of my life with him. BUT he says that he will never get married. He doesn't wanna kids. And i think that kids is biggest gift that woman can give to a man. But not with my man. He says he loves me. But what should I do????
Just accept it?

sounds like the words of a highschooler. you need to see more of life before you consider making decisions of marriage.

Originally posted by obie wan
sounds like the words of a highschooler. you need to see more of life before you consider making decisions of marriage.

I agree and disagree. The day I met my boyfriend, I knew he was the one. I didn't tell him about it, but when we finally got into the marriage talk he said that he felt that way too. We have talked about having kids, but not anytime soon. I wouldn't say that she needs to live life before deciding that she wants to marry someone. I'm living life right now knowing that I'll marry my boyfriend in the future and I'm not holding myself back from anything. I think that her guy will eventually want to settle down, but it's a scary thing to think about if your not ready. He may have just said he didn't want kids because it scared him.

Originally posted by Solgirl
I agree and disagree. The day I met my boyfriend, I knew he was the one. I didn't tell him about it, but when we finally got into the marriage talk he said that he felt that way too. We have talked about having kids, but not anytime soon. I wouldn't say that she needs to live life before deciding that she wants to marry someone. I'm living life right now knowing that I'll marry my boyfriend in the future and I'm not holding myself back from anything. I think that her guy will eventually want to settle down, but it's a scary thing to think about if your not ready. He may have just said he didn't want kids because it scared him.

hey solgirl, you're what 20yrs old and already talking about marriage and kids? from your post i gather that both of you have no experience in relationships. don't try to count highschool love as a relationship either.that's a time of infatuation not love. marriage and kids isn't a tv show especially if you rush into at such a young age. that's cool that you one day hope to marry him but even time wears a mountain down.

Originally posted by obie wan
hey solgirl, you're what 20yrs old and already talking about marriage and kids? from your post i gather that both of you have no experience in relationships. don't try to count highschool love as a relationship either.that's a time of infatuation not love. marriage and kids isn't a tv show especially if you rush into at such a young age. that's cool that you one day hope to marry him but even time wears a mountain down.

i get the feeling you've been burned a few too many times and now figure you have to be old to get married. There is no age for when its "alright" to fall in love and get married. It can happen at any stage in your life. As for you harpin on solgirl what up with that? She seems to know her shit, she wants to marry the bf but realizes its not the right time for that or kids. Sounds to me like you've got more issues on this then the people your harpin on. Chill, gotta let people live there own lives.

[Kyle]

poke holes in his condoms and sucker him into marriage...lol, seirously though...don't...

Originally posted by mt.biker
i get the feeling you've been burned a few too many times and now figure you have to be old to get married. There is no age for when its "alright" to fall in love and get married. It can happen at any stage in your life. As for you harpin on solgirl what up with that? She seems to know her shit, she wants to marry the bf but realizes its not the right time for that or kids. Sounds to me like you've got more issues on this then the people your harpin on. Chill, gotta let people live there own lives.

sorry i don't get burned. i see this "kid" stuff all the time. i believe this board is for people to express their opinion son. so if they didn't want an opinion then don't post.So you can go ahead and chill son. you are correct in saying there is not an age to get married but there is a certain level of wisdom and maturity one should have if they plan on taking that step. From their postings, they ain't got it and that's just keeping it real.

[Rob]

and just how old are you obie wan?

High school infatuation in itself is a sad thing, one of my friends is dating another one of my good friends. They are obsessive over each other. It's sad cause i know if one should break up with the other i would be worried about their emotions, cause one of these people has already tried to commit suicide once. So please dont do something that you will regret.

[silver]

i think the key in this topic is the guy. We know how she feels, but what about him? I gather he is 19, when I was 19 I needed to hook up with everything that moved, but I was able to keep committed to my gf at the time of 2yrs. Men at that age are at a stage where we need to go and experience everything the world has to offer, we are not ready to grow and be mature until we are forced to. Women at that age are beginning to become comfortable with themselves now that high school and the popularity game is over. The begin to learn what they want and their feelings begin to show. It is the time for maturing for women, and a time of play for men. lilcivicgirl, do not get burned by his instinct to go out and play and experience life, 4 years from now he may be ready, but he isn't yet. He is still a kid, few men are actual adults prior to 25 while women reach adulthood at 20.

Well he is not 19, he is 21. I know thats not a big difference. But
u always know how mature the other person is just by talking to him. I am not pushing him into anything, like I said, he has no idea about my feelings. And he will be the last one to find out. If he ever finds out.

Originally posted by LilCivicGirl
Well he is not 19, he is 21. I know thats not a big difference. But
u always know how mature the other person is just by talking to him. I am not pushing him into anything, like I said, he has no idea about my feelings. And he will be the last one to find out. If he ever finds out.

sounds like WONDERFUL communication you got there!

Originally posted by silver
i think the key in this topic is the guy. We know how she feels, but what about him? I gather he is 19, when I was 19 I needed to hook up with everything that moved, but I was able to keep committed to my gf at the time of 2yrs. Men at that age are at a stage where we need to go and experience everything the world has to offer, we are not ready to grow and be mature until we are forced to. Women at that age are beginning to become comfortable with themselves now that high school and the popularity game is over. The begin to learn what they want and their feelings begin to show. It is the time for maturing for women, and a time of play for men. lilcivicgirl, do not get burned by his instinct to go out and play and experience life, 4 years from now he may be ready, but he isn't yet. He is still a kid, few men are actual adults prior to 25 while women reach adulthood at 20.

[BlackWolf]

Hear, hear! Men are not mature at this age. Don't worry about him as much as you should for yourself. This is a time to live and learn from life. Marriage and kids are a lifetime commitment. If you feel you can commit, then by all means, let this guy know where you stand but do it gently and openly. Relationships are based on trust and if you're hiding your true feelings, that's not considered trusting. You can't trust someone that way. The only other thing I can say is talk to him, let him know how you feel. If it was meant to be then he'll feel the same. If not and you really care for him, give him time. His priorities and values will change as he gets older and marriage and kids might be more of a consideration for him. But, please, don't push him into anything right now. He'll only come to resent it and you for it. Time changes everything. Keep your head up and take care.