.:HSTuners::

10-23-2002, 01:26 PM

CORPORATE LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as
his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the
doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next-door
neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll
give you 800 dollars to drop
that
towel that you have on." After thinking for
a moment, the woman drops
her
towel and stands naked
in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob
hands her 800 dollars and
leaves. Confused, but excited about her
good fortune, the woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the
bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower " Who was that? "

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she
replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say
anything about the 800 dollars
he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you share critical information
pertaining to
credit and risk in time with your
stakeholders, you may be in a
position
to prevent avoidable exposure.

-----------------------------------------

CORPORATE LESSON 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on
the side of the road; he
stopped and offered her a lift, which she
accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open
and reveal a lovely leg. The
priest had a look and nearly had an
accident. After controlling the
car,
he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun looked at him and immediately said,
Father, remember psalm
129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized
profusely. He forced himself to
remove his hand. However, he was unable to
remove his eyes from her
leg.
Further on while changing gear, he let his
hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember
psalm 129?"

Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry
sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out
gave him a meaningful glance
and went on her way. On his arrival at the
church, the priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129.
It Said, "Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Always be well informed in your job, or you
might
miss a great opportunity!

-----------------------------------------

CORPORATE LESSON 3

A sales rep, a secretary and their manager
are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes
out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I
usually only grant three
wishes, so I' ll give each of you just one.

Me first! Me first! says the secretary. I
want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a
care in the world. Poof!
She's gone.

In astonishment, Me next! Me next! says the
sales rep. I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless
supply of pina coladas and the love of my
life. Poof! He's gone.

OK, you're up, the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, I want
those two back in the office after lunch.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Always let your boss have the first say.

ShEaNy · 10-23-2002, 01:44 PM

LOL

slowEJ6 · 10-23-2002, 01:46 PM

*ChrisCantSkate* · 10-23-2002, 02:10 PM

hahaha... so true, nice story to go along with them!

ebpda9 · 10-23-2002, 03:08 PM

Kyle · 10-23-2002, 04:26 PM

I've heard the first one before..funny stuff

the last one is the best

94_AcCoRd_EX · 10-23-2002, 05:56 PM

Those are great

10-23-2002, 10:41 PM

those are good !!

Rob · 10-23-2002, 10:47 PM

LOL...the priest/nun joke was my favorite

10-23-2002, 01:26 PM	#1
mt.biker Posts: n/a	Corporate Lessons CORPORATE LESSON 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower " Who was that? " "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?" MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. ----------------------------------------- CORPORATE LESSON 2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity! ----------------------------------------- CORPORATE LESSON 3 A sales rep, a secretary and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes, so I' ll give each of you just one. Me first! Me first! says the secretary. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, Me next! Me next! says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life. Poof! He's gone. OK, you're up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those two back in the office after lunch. MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say.

10-23-2002, 02:10 PM	#4
ChrisCantSkate Thought Police Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: orlando florida Age: 40 Posts: 9,662	hahaha... so true, nice story to go along with them! __________________ Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold.

10-23-2002, 03:08 PM	#5
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 43 Posts: 17,266	lol __________________

10-23-2002, 04:26 PM	#6
Kyle elyK Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: New Braunfels, TX Age: 37 Posts: 3,390	I've heard the first one before..funny stuff the last one is the best __________________ IGNORE THE FACTS EXPLORE THE TRUTH

10-23-2002, 05:56 PM	#7
94_AcCoRd_EX Insomniac Moderator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: OR Age: 43 Posts: 11,142	Those are great __________________ 1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...--

10-23-2002, 01:44 PM	#2
ShEaNy Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB Age: 39 Posts: 3,821	LOL

10-23-2002, 01:46 PM	#3
slowEJ6 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Oviedo, FL Age: 42 Posts: 3,195

10-23-2002, 10:41 PM	#8
firstgeardude Posts: n/a	those are good !!

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