a few funny jokes

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display,and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO
for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down...
and saw her husband was holding a battery operated pleasure device... a vibrator...soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She goes completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be
lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy... if you explain the kids."

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A woman goes to the doctor's office. "Doctor, I've got a
strange problem I need your opinion on."
"Could you describe the symptoms to me ?" he asked.
"Well, it's easier if I show you," she said and, standing up,
proceeded to undress.

When she was down to her underwear she sat on the edge of the examining table and spread her legs to reveal two small green circles on her inner thighs.

"They don't hurt or anything, but I was a little worried about
them." The doctor peered closely at the two circles and said, "Are
you a lesbian, by any chance ?" he asked.

Embarrassed and slightly nonplussed at this question coming
from a man with his head between her thighs she replied "Well, yes, I am actually. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to tell your girlfriend that her earrings aren't real gold."

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A Chinese couple gets married - and they are both virgins. On the
wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her
husband undresses.

He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darring"
he says, " I know dis you firs time and you berry frighten. I
promise you, its my firs time also. I give you anyting you want, I do anyting- jus anytin you want you say. What you want?"

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly)
for her request. "I want ...... numma 69" she eventually replies.

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually in a puzzled tone he queries......... "You want..,Beef with Blackbean sauce?