Why it's great to be a guy

Phone conversations last 30 seconds

You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes

A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase

Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

You can open all your own jars

Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight

When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying

You can go to the bathroom alone

You can leave a hotel room bed unmade

The garage is all yours

The remote is yours and yours alone

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"

You never have to clean the toilet

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

Wedding plans take care of themselves

If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

Your underwear costs are really cheap – a 3-pack for maybe 7 bucks

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry

Chocolate is just another snack

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat

Three words: Flowers fix everything!

Pair of shoes is more than enough

You can say anything and not worry about what people think

Car mechanics tell you the truth

You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

Gray hair and wrinkles add character

Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100

You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's

If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking, "He must be mad at me"

One mood, all the time