.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
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Men Only....
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. ---------------------------------------- Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. ---------------------------------------- Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ---------------------------------------- Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." ---------------------------------------- Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ---------------------------------------- Q: Why do men break wind more than women? A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ---------------------------------------- Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ---------------------------------------- Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A: A woman who won't do what she's told. -------------------------------------- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ---------------------------------------- I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. --------------------------------------- Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" ---------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------ Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. ---------------------------------------- A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." ---------------------------------------- Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son." ---------------------------------------- A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." ---------------------------------------- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. |
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