Destroying the english language Pt. 1

[GT40FIED]

As I'm back in Kansas City for holiday break, I've come to truely appreciate the kind of stupidity that only the diverse crosshatch of individuals in a larger city can provide. While at work shortly before Xmas, I encountered a gentleman using a part of speech I once thought was only a legend...the elusive triple negative. This man wanted to make a return but was without receipt. When I inquired about said receipt, his reply was (and I quote) "I ain't never needed no receipt before". Floored, I continued my quest...prodding him to possibly invent the quadruple negative. I myself have been trying to create a quadruple negative for years but alas have fallen short (you think I'm kidding...I'm not). Sure, it's possible, but it just doesn't sound right. So, after a lung kick to the solarplexes for lowering my IQ with the kind of smarts demonstrated by a retard fucking a doorknob, I processed his return and sent him on his way. Nevermind the fact that "ain't" isn't a real word (it might be in the dictionary...I'm too lazy to look. Even if it is, no two words make up that contraction, so get bent), his redneck drawl was too much for me to handle. After stroking out for a bit, I came to and started thinking about how idiot assholes like this will surely destroy the english language because, as a matter of biology, the stupid tend to reproduce more plentifully than the intelligent (see: mormons). I've become used to double negatives, especially when dealing with black folks and white kids who think they're black folks and that bugs me...but a triple negative sent me into a realm of stupid only foreseen in episodes of the twilight zone...or possibly theorized by Stephen Hawking, if any. Slowly but surely, we're all being dumbed down by ourselves.

Stay tuned for Pt. 2 and maybe 3 where I explain why the phrase "cheddah" cannot be used as a term for denominations of currency and why "tYp1nG LyKe D1$" or any purposeful mispelling of words in a phonetical context (especially when they're not even abbreviations) should be grounds for justifiable homicide.