"Hey, there arent enough power tools"

[pdiggitydogg]

I was at home depot tonight and saw some of the stupidest power tools ever.

First) A power caulk gun. Yes, we as humans have grown that lazy. We cant be squeezing a trigger, two maybe even three times to get that pesky glue out of its tube! We need an automatic machine to do it for us!
Yep, just squeeze the trigger once and dispense as much caulk as you want! Want it to stop? Well, one model needed you to push a STOP button! Yes, a stop button....hope you dont forget it. Thats the clever thing about our muscles, its hard to forget how to use them....Well, according to the makers of this tool, we must be starting to.

Second) An automatic tape measure. Yes, I can see where this would be useful maybe a handful of times, but certainly not enough to justify the $30 pricetag...and it wasnt even that long!
Really, how hard is it to stretch your arm out a little and grab the end of the thing youre measuring with the tab?? I mean, it does stick out lower than the tape case for a reason...
Now, I just saw a commercial for this "tool" on tv (sparked me to write this). The guy is fumbling around in a bathroom or something, I really dont remember, with a shower/curtain rod, dopping this and that (etc). Here's an idea....measure it before you try to put it on the wall...

Third) Laser guided drill. What a great idea...except for the fact that it will still point at the wall unless you aim the damn bit at your eye.
Great way for people to excuse their own stupidity for drilling something at an angle, instead of straight - "Well, I used the laser!" forget the fact that I thought I still might have to aim this thing.... Thats why some of them have LEVELS built right into them!
This is just about as smart a tool as those OG laser levels that didnt have a bubble in them or didnt self level (I gotta say that is a great tool for drop ceilings having used one)

This post makes me feel like Steve


(cleaned up for easier reading)