Oh man. I love Little Billy

[KwikR6]

LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER


Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,

"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your

teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"





LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY


A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you

shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women

sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is

delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second

is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the

top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one

that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the

wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."





LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH


Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father?

"That's what I said!"





LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH


Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to

learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a

multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says,

"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."





LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR


One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show

hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence

twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my

mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called

on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was

pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."