You might be a redneck if...

Your doctor prescribes moonshine as a painkiller.

Your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

You've ever waved at traffic from your front porch wearing just your underwear.

Your new job promotion means the company foots the bill to have your name sewn on your shirts.

Your neighbors call 911 everytime you use the BBQ grill.

You're the only one at your ten-year reunion with grandchildren.

You know that your wheelbarrow will hold ten twelve-packs iced down.

According to your birth certificate your father's name was "X."

The first time you ever saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a cover charge.