The Absolute Worst Things To Say To A Police Officer When Pulled Over

[ebpda9]

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer?
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops?"
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
Hey, can you give me another one of those body cavity searches?

and some more:
15. No, YOU assume the position.
14. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
13. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
12. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . .I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
11. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 180 mph.
10. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece!
9. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick one!
8. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
7. On the way to the station let's get a six pack, oh don't forget the cig's
6. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!
5. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
4. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
2. So thats what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone means.
1. What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway?