Office Space

[BlackWolf]

Has anyone seen this already? If you work in an office, you KNOW it's true. I feel you on this one.....

You know, sometimes I hate working in corporate America. Why? Because of the
damn cubes. Cubes have to be the worst thing created in the workplace.
No privacy. People looking over your shoulder. All your phone business
being heard by the world. And what's up with people that walk by as slow as
they possibly damn can, to see what website you are surfing instead of
working? I hate that.
You really want to see me go postal? Hover by my cube too long. You may get
cussed out. Don't just bust up in there unannounced. Knock on the wall;
stick your head around the corner to see if I'm busy. Announce your
presence. Don't just jump in because you don't see a door. Damn, It's my
cube.
Don't walk past and ask me who are all the pretty people in my pictures that
decorate my desk. First of all, I don't have any ugly friends. Second of
all, I don't have an ugly family. Third of all, what the hell are you doing
lolly gagging around my cube long enough to look at all the pictures that I
have anyway?
Don't slow your roll at my cube, speed it up. It's my cube. Don't ask me
where I got my plants from, my mirror from or my motivational prints from.
That means you've been standing there too long, you better keep on walking.
In fact, why don't you walk your ass to the nearest Garden Ridge, IKEA or
Target? You wanna see decorations? Go to the damn store!
If you see me on the phone, don't come in. Don't sit in my vacant chair
until I'm done talking on the phone. What makes you think I want you to know
all my personal business? I haven't summoned you. I haven't invited you to
take a seat. I haven't asked you to laugh along with me at the jokes I tell
my friends on the other line. We don't need to correspond in person. That's
what an inbox was created for. You wanna talk to me? Send me an email. You
got work for me to see? Drop it off in the inbox OUTSIDE of my cube. Damn,
it ain't hanging there for decoration!
Don't listen for noises from my cube that announce whether I'm arriving or
leaving. Damn, I hate that! When I get here in the morning, I get here. I
don't need you to say good morning loud enough so that the whole department
can hear. Why do they need to know that I got here at 8:05, not 8:00? And
when I get ready to leave, I'm gone. If you hear me taking my purse out of
the drawer or zipping up my bag, I don't need you to say goodbye loud enough
so that the whole department can hear you announce my departure at 4:45 and
not 5:00. Damn, I hate that!
Don't think because I have staples, pens and notepads, that means you can
borrow some, sh!t, I said no the first time. If I say I don't have any,
don't walk by to check and see if I'm lying. I am. I just don't want you to
have it. Do like I did. Walk your ass down the hall to the big supply room
and get you some things. What do I look like, Office Max?
It's my cube. Respect my house!