Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Racing Rice]

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to

know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is

either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken

crossing the road represented the application of these two different

functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring

greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been

polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach

the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was

crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was

getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out

there is already forming a support group to help chickens with

crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this

can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their

tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,

money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to

cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a

standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price

dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

information.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other

side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,

that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay

too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination

that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like

"the other side."

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The

chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads

without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told

us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the

chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how It

experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its

life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in

dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the

death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens

have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the

road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,

but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your

checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by

chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou

shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was

much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?