Jokes

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my ****inging ass." Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my ****ing car."

A young couple was out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy asked the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?"
She agreed to and he began to speed up. When the speedometer hit 100, she started to strip. When she got all her clothes off, he was so busy staring at her that he drove off the road and flipped the car. The girl was thrown clear without a scratch, but her clothes and her boyfriend were still trapped in the car.
"Go get help," he pleaded.
She replied, "I can't, I'm naked."
He pointed to his shoe that was thrown clear and said, "Cover your crotch with that shoe and go get help."
She grabbed the shoe, covered herself, and ran to the gas station down the road. When she arrived, she was frantic and yelled to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looked down at the shoe covering her crotch and replied, "I'm sorry, Miss. He's too far in for me to help."