Computer system for married men (even funny for those who arnt)

[mavaaoife]

Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
> 1.0. I soon noticed that
> the new program began unexpected child processing
> that took up a lot of
> space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installed itself into
> all other programs and now monitors all other
> system>activity. Applications
> such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and
> Fishing 7.5, and Racing
> 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected.
>
> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
> while attempting to run my
> favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back
> to Girlfriend 7.0, but
> the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
> Thanks,
> A Troubled User.



REPLY:
> Dear Troubled User:
>
> This is a very common problem that men complain
> about.
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
> thinking that it is
> just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0
> is an OPERATING SYSTEM
> and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
> It is also impossible to
> delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It
> is impossible to
> uninstall, or purge the program files from the
> system once installed.
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
> 1.0 is designed to not
> allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
> Warnings-Alimony-Child
> Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work
> on improving the
> situation. I suggest installing the background
> application "Yes Dear" to
> alleviate software augmentation.
> The best course of action is to enter the command
> C:\APOLOGIZE because
> ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command before the system
> will return to normal anyway.
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
> high maintenance. Wife
> 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as
> Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
> It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful
> how you use these
> programs. Improper use will cause the system to
> launch the program Nag, Nag
> 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the
> performance of Wife 1.0
> is to purchase additional software. I recommend
> Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
> 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,
> install Secretary With
> Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported
> by Wife 1.0 and will
> cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support

[ebpda9]

LMAO, that is great, but it's a REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPOST

[mavaaoife]

really?
i didnt know...

[CD5Passion]

yeah it was posted a long time ago but it's still funny

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by hondaman-iac
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPOST

Still good though.

[Wren57]

Haha, very nice.

I had girlfriend 1.0 installed. It came with cool features such as Good Job 10.0, Hot Babe Desktop 2.5, Fun 4.7, and updated itself to include Love 1.1. It ran very smoothly, then a trojan horse named distance 6.50 snuck past Effort 1.2 (anti-virus program) and infected 1.0, so I reformatted with girlfriend 2.0. Girlfriend 2.0 came bundled with hidden software such as Crazy Bitch 3.4, Random Visits 2.2, and Lack of Sex 8.6. Reformatted again with girlfriend 3.0, but it only got halfway installed before it deleted itself. I'm deciding if I should purchase girlfriend 4.0 or go back to Single 5.0 (an much simpler MS-DOS program, but with less functionality). Ideas?

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by highlander
Haha, very nice.

I had girlfriend 1.0 installed. It ran very smoothly, then a trojan horse named distance 6.50 snuck past Effort 1.0 (anti-virus program) and infected 1.0, so I reformatted with girlfriend 2.0. Girlfriend 2.0 came bundled with hidden software such as Crazy Bitch 3.4, Random Visits 2.2, and Lack of Sex 8.6. Reformatted again with girlfriend 3.0, but it only got halfway installed before it deleted itself. I'm deciding if I should purchase girlfriend 4.0 or go back to Single 5.0 (an much simpler MS-DOS program, but with less functionality). Ideas?

Nice. I don't know what you should do, but I'll relate my experience with girlfriend 1.0. It came with kick ass features like make me dinner 6.7, apartment 2.5, and freaky sex 8.8. But for some reason the programmers left in serious flaws like batshit insanity 9.0, clingyness 7.8, and cheat with the ex 10.0. Even after a complete reformat it was difficult to escape the problems of girlfriend 1.0 as it presented viruses like always calling 5.6 and pining 7.8 along with apologies 8.7. Finally after rewriting it's code, I deleted the offending problems. I've been pimping single 2.0 for quite some time now, and it seems to work. That said, I can't help but be curious whether or not girlfriend 2.0 would be a decent upgrade. Anyone know how to install girlfriend 2.0 without the associated batshit insanity 9.0 file?

[mavaaoife]

not all of the girlfriend programs come with the annoying attachments... be VERY picky though of who the maker is..

[Wren57]

^Thats the main problem. The software doesn't reveal it's programmer until after you have it installed. Tricky...

[mavaaoife]

isnt it though? My programmer was very good-hearted... he programmed me to where off the bat I show my add-ons...

[MissJDM]

Nice post. It's okay Karen, it wasn't a repost for me.

Then again..i don't get out much.

[mavaaoife]

Thank you lyna!

[Wren57]

Haha... so last night I'm at a party wasted and run into Girlfriend 2.0 attached with New Boyfriend X.0. That was interesting, and shortly thereafter Girlfriend 1.0 loaded itself on my phone and requested to be loaded again, despite the potential threat to it by Distance 6.50. It was suggested I try Effort 1.3 this time, but I'm still not sure. To be continued.

-Wren (kinda likes the simplicity of it all when put in computer terms)