60 things not to say to a naked guy

*60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy*
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

[ohiochica]

lol i love those, seen them before but stil laugh at em.

45. Aww, it's hiding.


lol.

[Wren57]

haha those are great...
I seriously do feel bad for guys that have to worry about that, must be so embarrasing...

[ShEaNy]

lol...

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

LMAO

[ebpda9]

LMFAO

Wut about 61" Aw u decided to go compact-- just like your car"

haha awww that's so sad. poor fellas

it's not the size that counts! -- it's the motion of the ocean.... or some shit.

Originally posted by JTsn2Bfst
Wut about 61" Aw u decided to go compact-- just like your car"

Damn!! Thats a good one!! hhahaha...I like!!

Kelly~

I don't think that I'd ever say any of these to someone that I cared about unless they tried to dis on my privates or something. Some of these are really funny but I think could do some psychological damage to a guy.

[ChrisCantSkate]

this to say to a guy....

1) my god your a tripod
2) you've got a kickstand!

ok.. austin powers rips, but i thought i'd throw them in

the barbie clothes one was quite funny

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
this to say to a guy....

1) my god your a tripod
2) you've got a kickstand!

ok.. austin powers rips, but i thought i'd throw them in

Ok, I hope that doesn't sound bad but I actually have a good friend that we all call KickStand. I had about 20 people over my house over the summer and one of my friends was making comments about how KickStand is on the juice (steroids) so he eventually got all pissed off and just sort pulled it out to prove that he wasn't. And it did not look like he was on the juice. I will not say anymore.

hahhaah!! Thats hysterical! I was at a party once and a guy decided to burn his pubes with his lighter! So he just all of a sudden drops his pants!! WHOAA!! HAHHAHA!! That ...was gross! The smell just killed that party!

Kelly~

EWE. That is nasty. The smell of burning hair is bad enough but that kind of hair just makes is all the more disgusting. Ok, this is gross too but you know how people will try to light thier farts on fire? Again, this happened another time I had people over. There were people going in and out of our hot tub so this kid had a bathing suit on. Which apparently was really flammable. He lit his shorts on fire trying to blow out flames.

Muahahahaaaa!!! OMG...I cant stop laughing!! That is good stuff!! I would have died laughing if I saw someone do that. Like on Dumb & Dumber! hahaha!! Good stuff!

Kelly~

Yeah, it was funny and all because his bathing suit caught on fire and he was ok. But it burned some of my mom's Oriental rug a little and I ended up having to move the rug around in an attempt to cover it with the leg of the coffee table. And then the dog got all sick a few weeks later and crapped all over it and then my mom had to throw it out (the rug) and bought a new one.

[black95gs-t]

what kind of wierd parties do y'all throw?
j

Originally posted by black95gs-t
what kind of wierd parties do y'all throw?
j

I don't thow parties encouraging the previously mentioned behavior. I don't even throw "parties". A lot of friends will just show up and then more friends will show up and then everyone starts drinking and then they start doing weird things.

Thats Connecticut for ya.

Originally posted by TerKel00
Thats Connecticut for ya.

Us Springfielder's arn't THAT crazy.

Originally posted by cashizslick
Us Springfielder's arn't THAT crazy.

Yeah, that's because you actually have stuff to do where you live. I pretty much live in the woods. People get REALLY bored. I do some crazy stuff but I don't cross the line and light myself on fire or anything.

Originally posted by cashizslick
Us Springfielder's arn't THAT crazy.

I beg to differ...but whatever. You guys are the worst drivers...Ill give you that much. Last Saturday...I was in Springfield going to a club and there was something going on somewhere..people were leaving a show or something around 10pm...they were all old people...pulling out in front of me..blocking traffic..I wanted to ram right into them I was so ticked. Anyways...hahhaa..good ol' parties out in the woods in high school...that sh*t was fun!!

Kelly~

Old people are the shittiest drivers EVER. Anyone see that CVS commercial and the lady with the Viper? What club did you go to?

well i live in an area with a bunch of people with no licnse plate, no insurancem and no license. So if they hit me. They're gone. Then there are the old people. So i live in the land of shitty drivers

If someone ever hit me that had no insurance, I would beat them until they came to their senses and got insurance. Or, gave me money. Some WASTED old lady just smashed into a car that my little cousin was in. She t-boned it. And she was very careless about it and was getting all riled up with these 16 year old kids. Trying to say it was their fault and stuff. One time one of my friends rear-ended me and I don't think that she had insurance. She just told me to get the estimate and then her mom just wrote me a check.

Originally posted by TerKel00
I beg to differ...but whatever. You guys are the worst drivers...Ill give you that much. Last Saturday...I was in Springfield going to a club and there was something going on somewhere..people were leaving a show or something around 10pm...they were all old people...pulling out in front of me..blocking traffic..I wanted to ram right into them I was so ticked. Anyways...hahhaa..good ol' parties out in the woods in high school...that sh*t was fun!!
Kelly~

Cause they are old

Originally posted by cashizslick
Cause they are old

And mean and stupid. Sorry. Bad day at the bank.