46 Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

[DsBlu01CivEX]

My Ex (aka the goat f**ker) sent me a link to this...it's funny...it's long...I asked him he was tryin to tell me something....He said no...I still think there was a hidden meaning that he's not tellin me about....Oh well...It was a decent laugh.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to;expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. Crying is blackmail.

14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

23. Check your oil.

24. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

25. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.

26. No, it does not matter which quiz.

27. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

28. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic.

31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done; not both.

33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and either do we.

35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

36. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

37. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

38. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

39. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

40. If it itches, it will be scratched.

41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.

43. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

44. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her together.

46. What the hell is a doily?

lol good stuff!

I love this...it's DAMN good...and yup messages messages messages spelled ALL over the place!

[ChrisCantSkate]

haha thats great

[SilverHX4Me]

all true

Originally posted by SilverHX4Me
all true

specially the one about 16 colors. cracked me up totally.

[ebpda9]

lol

[DsBlu01CivEX]

I personally think that he was tryin to send the message of #14 to me and referring to himself! Hahahaha

ohh so true

ex's suck.. the thought of them makes me

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Mt. Biker you are definitely our male relationship expert. All of us that are having relationship troubles really should just come to you. We all know that you are givin us the right answers on what to do...but of course we (meaning definitely me) are all too dense to listen to you and then like 3 weeks later we come back and say man we should have listened to you. Can I call you Abby??? hehe jfwy

haha man that's fun funny shitz! my gf's gonna love the genie one.

[4jacks]

That was really good !!!

Is there a rule about why they could just stop talking to you, like they fell off the face of the earth with no explanation?
Cuz thats all I'm caring about now

all of this is soo true!

I like #30, my girlfriends always ***** when I stare at another girl. I hate the question, "Does she look better than me"? I would do anything not to hear that question. Girls need to learn not to ask a question they dont want to hear the answer to. Yes, ive been slapped a couple times in the mall.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

I just don't understand if guys aren't happy with what they have and feel the need to completely check out another girl while they are with their girl...then WHY are they with their girl? If you aren't happy with what you have...then find something that is gonna make you happy and not wanna oggle other chicks. And there are such things as little white lies to make your girl feel good about yourself. Tell her that she looks better than the other girl u were checking out. You won't get slapped then. And then go tell your boys how hot this one chick was you saw at the mall. Does she go around checkin out guys when she is with you and tells you that they are hotter than you are?

any girl im with better not be checking out guys while im with them. guys are different though, we look at a hot girl like we would a nice car. its completely different, we might be happy where we are in the relationship but nothing beats a really hot piece of mechinary. about getting slapped, why ask a stupid question and not expect a stupid answer??? to this day, my ex-girlfriend think i want to get with the girl down the road, damn shes HOT!!!!!!!!!! but ive known her since 4th grade, nothing will ever come of it, although i can only wish. haha

AND PLEASE PLEASE!!!... and i know all of you guys do this...

do not!!!! tell your girlfriend... how you saw your exgirlfriend... or someone that youve had sex with prior to our relationship.. in a store,work, school.. or anywhere.. and had a conversation with her or that it made u have flashbacks about having sex with her.
also!!! when your girlfriend asks you " why do u keep talking about her? do you want her or something?" do not reply with.. " she wouldnt go for me anyways.. she likes guys who have big d*cks.. or .. she likes guys who gel their hair..":
BC THAT JUST MAKES US WANT TO TAKE A BAT TO YOUR FOREHEAD!!! and trust me.. I GOT THE POWER!

also.. do not tell us a story 43 times.. and on the 44th.. change the ending with.. and "my friend JONNY had sex with the girl in the backseat" when 43 of the 44 times there was no "FRIEND JONNY" and we all know "YOU" where the one who had sex with the girl and changed the story on the 44th time out of guilt. bc you had to tell it to someone other then your friend of how u HAD SEX WITH A SKANK IN YOUR CAR AND UR GIRLFRIEND STILL HASNT CAUGHT ON...

guess what? whenever you alter the story using one of ur friends names after youve told us it until we know it by heart. PLease expect us to blame you for whatever.. "JONNY" supposedly did.

ok....I'm sorry hun
but I just couldn't control "Johnny West" any more

Originally posted by juvenile
ok....I'm sorry hun
but I just couldn't control "Johnny West" any more

shes a brick houuuuuuuuuuuuse!
dood most girls.. if they get pist enough.. can take u in a fight.. even if theyre 4' 11" so dont cap on girls.. we got girlpower! lol

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
I just don't understand if guys aren't happy with what they have and feel the need to completely check out another girl while they are with their girl...then WHY are they with their girl? If you aren't happy with what you have...then find something that is gonna make you happy and not wanna oggle other chicks. And there are such things as little white lies to make your girl feel good about yourself. Tell her that she looks better than the other girl u were checking out. You won't get slapped then. And then go tell your boys how hot this one chick was you saw at the mall. Does she go around checkin out guys when she is with you and tells you that they are hotter than you are?

Guys wouldn't ask such a thing, so there really isn't an answer to that question.

But just because a guy looks at another girl doesn't mean that he's not happy with what he has. He's probably with her because he likes her for more than just looks.

b

I know guys have a bad rep for cheating, but of the guys and girls I've known.....I've known very few guys who cheated on their girlfriends, but I knew lots of girls who cheated on their boyz. Maybe it's not a representative sample....but it affects my views on things.

But on the trust issue....I don't think you build trust through 'little white lies' and the likes. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to be blunt and honest. It pisses lots of people off, girls and guys alike....but people know that if they ask me, they get my honest opinion. I ain't gonna blow sunshine where the sun don't shine unless it's well deserved.... It pisses me off when girls think my compliments aren't honest, but I guess those are just the girls that don't know me well enough. Ok, rant over.

b

girls suck. cant live with um, cant shoot um.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by toykilla
any girl im with better not be checking out guys while im with them. guys are different though, we look at a hot girl like we would a nice car. its completely different, we might be happy where we are in the relationship but nothing beats a really hot piece of mechinary. about getting slapped, why ask a stupid question and not expect a stupid answer??? to this day, my ex-girlfriend think i want to get with the girl down the road, damn shes HOT!!!!!!!!!! but ive known her since 4th grade, nothing will ever come of it, although i can only wish. haha

When I was with my exes I checked out guys when they were with me. I completely understand that it's nature to do such a thing. I don't have a problem with my guy checkin out another girl...as long as he doesn't act on it. And guys aren't the only ones checkin out the opposite sex like they would a nice car. My head will spin for a nice car the same as it would for a hot guy.