The booty call agreement

[Wren57]

BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day of __________, 2004/2005, by_______________________, between ____________ and ______________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have **** to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only mind-blowing sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Do you love me? Where are we heading with this?) The answer is: "No and nowhere, so don't ask."

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" - we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your *** leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your *** up and go home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend."

17. Doggie style preferred - just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!

18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.

19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME - so don't keep calling.

20. The most important one - no condoms, no sex. Give me head or go home.

21. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

22. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ***.

23. If you see me out in public don't approach me if I am with anyone of the opposite sex or my friends.

24. No, I am not going to baby sit.

25. You only get one chance, if you cancel or refuse when called upon, you will drop into suspension. The second offense you are removed from the List.

26. No biting, scratching, hickies, or marks.

27. If you want something specific sexually, speak up my crystal ball is broken.

28. No, don't bring a video camera. This isn't a movie for distribution.

29. If I wanted to hear about your day, your problems, your last bad date or wanted your opinion, I would actually speak to you more often. Don't tell me **** unless I ask. Don't hold your breath waiting for that either.

30. Don't assume ****, you are just going to piss me off.

*EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The above rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly *** understands the rules.

Issuing Party's Name_________________________ Date:______________________________________ Participating Party's Signature__________________ Date:______________________________________

__________________

[ebpda9]

LMAO

[IALuder]

lol

[Mischief]

just need to print out a few copies of that baby

[thermal]

[MissJDM]

Lol. The male college mates upstairs seem to like that.

[ShEaNy]

AHAHAHA thats great....

[KwikR6]

That's fucking great man..holy shit...i even had to post it on my local board