The Fast and the Furious 2: Torqueless in Woodbridge (where I live)

this is from another board.....



The Fast and the Furious is full of shit. It makes your average gino look like a super-hero, which is straight bullshit. They should make a more realistic Fast and Furious Part 2: Woodbridge Style! Let me set up the scenario:

It's Friday night in a Tim Horton's parking lot in Woodbridge with 18
ginos crowded around 2 civics talking about how they almost stabbed
someone at the club they were just at. All of a sudden another crew
pulls into the parking lot with their civics pumping Euro Heaven. The
first crew of ginos tense up as they see the next crew park their civics
to lounge around as well.

The crews spot each other. Hard looks are exchanged.

Finally a gino from the first crew decides to go into the Tim Hortons
with his girlfriend so she can buy him a sangwich and juice. As the
gino and his girlfriend go towards the Tim Horton's they walk past the
other crew of ginos. Street heat is generated.

All of a sudden "Hey what are you looking at?"
“What?”
"Yo what are you @#%$ looking at?"
"Bro you wanna start something?"
"Oh my god, bro, you are not talking to me"
"Get out of my face before I give you the zaps"

All of a sudden the first crew notice their friend is in trouble. They
speed over. Everyone rushes in and talks about stabbing each other but
no one actually fights. Then...

"Yo I say we line it up"
"You wanna line it up with me?"
"What you afraid?"
"Bro I'll smoke you. My civic has dual turbo exhaust trans cam shafts."
"Bro, mine has a super charged rear front differential boost system"

They continue to brag about how they each spent over $10,000 souping up
their rides even though they both work for minimum wage doing retail in
the local mall.

Finally they line it up. Engines rev, and the ginos' 14 year old
girlfriends wish them luck. They speed off blazing down Highway 7 3:00
a.m. on a Friday night.

Both ginos are really scared because although they talk like they race a
lot, neither of them has really ever lined it up before.

As he speeds down the road the first gino thinks to himself, "what would
the guy from the Fast and the Furious do if he were me?" He then
remembers a scene from the movie and goes to push the nitro button
hidden on his steering wheel. He however is disappointed to discover
there is no nitro button on his steering wheel because stupid @#%$ like
that only exists in Hollywood movies that try and glorify ginos.

He then hears on the radio that Cameroon has beaten Italy in World Cup
qualifying. He starts to panic. His world is crumbling around him.
Suddenly he spins off the road and crashes into a lamppost, then
rebounds right into the front glass of the local Blockbuster where his
best friend works.

He is still alive but his car is on fire. He knows he only has moments
to escape before the car explodes. He goes for the door but is shocked
to discover he can't make it because his super big loop earring is
hooked on a piece of the front seat, trapping him in the car.

He sees his friend in the Blockbuster and cries out, "Lorenzo, please
help me! Oh my god!"

BOOOOOOOM! Too late. The explosion takes place leveling the entire
complex.

Further down Highway 7 the other gino is still speeding away because his
windows are so tinted he can't see the other car has already crashed and
is out of the race. As he drives he imagines Limp Bizkit's "my way"
playing in the back of his head.

All of a sudden he remembers that he has that CD cause he made his
girlfriend buy it for him. He goes into his CD compartment, grabs the
disc and puts it in to play. Everything is cool. Or so he thinks.

He has forgotten that he had his stereo set on super bass. All of a
sudden the bass from his souped up system shakes the car so badly it
causes engine failure. His car crashes into the local prison. Crawling
out from the wreck, he is dismayed to find himself inside an inmate’s
cell.

The prisoner stares at the gino. The long streaked hair, baby smooth
face and shiny loop earrings lead the prisoner to believe that the gino
is actually a woman and he rushes the poor gino. He easily tears away
the ginos Kappa button up joggers and has at him. The prisoner handles
the gino in a style that is both fast and furious. Later the gino is
naked and wandering the streets, sore and ashamed. He uses his white
Nike headband hanging around his neck to wipe the tears from his eye.

The night truly has been Fast and Furious.

The End



When I read this I laughed my ass off. To some extent, they really described some of the Italians well!

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

OMG that's so damn funny

[Violent Apathy]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Ahhhh hahaha lol *Continues the laughter*

[ebpda9]

LMFAO

[Wren57]

hahahaha nice

OMG. I'm Italian. When I race, I better be more careful. LMAO.

Lifted this from a guy on Vortex. Funny stuff, but don't mind the VW bias.

Signs that no matter what your opinion is......you know WAY too much to have seen TF&TF 9:42 PM 3-24-2003


Mondays suck, so, I'll try to liven things up.

1. You were pissed off from the very start because the black Civics had green neons
2. When Paul Walker orders his tuna fish sandwich and is reading the import magazine, you first asked yourself if you've read that issue.
3. You are of the few who actually noticed that the guy who drove "the yellow car" got out on the wrong side of the car.
4. You laughed everytime you heard the word NAWZ
5. You laughed even harder when Paul Walker needed "2 of the big bottles"
6. You nearly fell out of your chair when they talked about the Maxima running 9's
7. You knew the Eclipse really didn't have a turbo
8. You laughed when Hector talked about going "legit on the NIRA circuit"
9. You actually know what the hell those graphics on the side of "the crew's" cars are
10. You can identify almost every body kit, wheel brand/type, and other various modifcations on almost every car.
11. You knew that the Supra was originally yellow and without stickers
12. You know who actually owns the Supra
13. You know he also owns the Maxima
14. When you first saw Ja Rule's car you said to yourself "that's MOMO's car from their ads!". This was of course after you identified the RX-7 as Veilside's car.
15. While everyone laughed when the kid in the Civic was playing video games in his car, you were silently making fun of him that he sucks at playing Gran Turismo
16. You know the kid in the white Civic is RJ de Vera
17. You know that not a single car in the movie with the exception of maybe the Charger is a "10 second car"
18. You were pissed off that the Jetta was a poor representation of the VW community
19. However you knew the Jetta was the Wings West car
20. You also know the engine modifications
21. While everyone laughed when the kid said he had ADD (yes that sh*t), you were cursing the producers that they gave the VW to the only retarded one of the group.
22. Not only do you know what a Spoon engine is, that a Motec system exhaust sucks, and what a T66 turbo is, but you also know how much each one costs and where to get them.
23. While you may have wondered why the S2000 has a giant snowflake on it, you knew that $100K into the engine was absurd
24. You cringed when it lined up to race the Jetta
25. You shook your head when the race was so close
26. You were subconsiously rooting for the Jetta to win
27. You know what a Nissan SR20 motor is
28. You know it doesn't belong in the cars they were talking about
29. Instead of being repulsed by a guy having oil pumped into his mouth, you were disgusted that a Toyota Paseo was in the scene.
30. At one point in the movie you wondered what those 3 black Civics had under the hood.
31. You already knew
32. You actually know what happened when they zoomed into the engine at the end when the Charger races the Supra
33. You laughed when you saw the turn signal come on, the front end bow, and the wipers come on when the Supra landed after going over the tracks.

OMG LMAO!!! there are way too many ginos up in Woodbridge LMAO

[ShEaNy]

LOLOLOLOLL

I still laugh at it every time I read it!

Now, that would be a good movie script.