.:HSTuners::

Racing Rice · 09-20-2002, 10:01 AM

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not, unless you are gay.

ebpda9 · 09-20-2002, 10:19 AM

TonitrusEN · 09-20-2002, 11:03 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

94_AcCoRd_EX · 09-20-2002, 12:12 PM

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

Those are all so true.

Racing Rice · 09-20-2002, 12:18 PM

I knew youd all appreciate this one. It couldnt have been any more right!

Whiteclipse99 · 09-20-2002, 01:41 PM

Those are definitely funny!

Of course being a girl they didn't quite hit close to home, but it was great to read anyway!

Accord Man · 09-20-2002, 02:01 PM

haha, that was great RR..

Racing Rice · 09-20-2002, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Whiteclipse99
Those are definitely funny! Of course being a girl they didn't quite hit close to home, but it was great to read anyway!

That will just give you an advantage if a guy does something you dont understand.

09-20-2002, 02:48 PM

lol that's hillarious!

09-20-2002, 02:51 PM

What's the Rule of Ten, Whiteclipse99?

Max

09-20-2002, 10:01 AM	#1
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	The Man Code... Rules that should never be broken! 1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat" 2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. 3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence. 5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent) 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever. 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale. 9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable. 10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay. 11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. 12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it. 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean. 14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'. 15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer. 16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat. 17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood. 19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free. 20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy. 23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?" 24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. 25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer. 26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response. 27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. 28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not, unless you are gay. __________________ Racing Rice

09-20-2002, 10:19 AM	#2
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 43 Posts: 17,266	LMAO __________________

09-20-2002, 12:12 PM	#4
94_AcCoRd_EX Insomniac Moderator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: OR Age: 43 Posts: 11,142	That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Those are all so true. __________________ 1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...--

09-20-2002, 12:18 PM	#5
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	I knew youd all appreciate this one. It couldnt have been any more right! __________________ Racing Rice

09-20-2002, 01:41 PM	#6
Whiteclipse99 4th Gear Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York, Pa Age: 44 Posts: 952	Those are definitely funny! Of course being a girl they didn't quite hit close to home, but it was great to read anyway! __________________ Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane. -- Robert Orben

09-20-2002, 02:01 PM	#7
Accord Man THE GENERAL Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Earth (usually) Age: 42 Posts: 5,698	haha, that was great RR.. __________________ HondaStyle.com Babysitter's Club Member #0 Soon to be >Dr Max Immuh<

09-20-2002, 02:48 PM	#9
juvenile Posts: n/a	lol that's hillarious!

09-20-2002, 02:51 PM	#10
Niacin Posts: n/a	What's the Rule of Ten, Whiteclipse99? Max

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode