.:HSTuners::

*pdiggitydogg* · 12-14-2002, 08:01 PM

I really think that there's something wrong with me. First of all, I'm an idiot. I always do things...anything...for my ex when she asks. Today, for example, I helped her move into her new apartment...she now lives with her bf...

... But this new place is like an hour from her old hous and that was fifteen minutes from mine...anyway thats not the point, my point is it took 13hrs to get her all moved in. Doing that alone shows I am an idiot.
Second, I bought her a f*cking house warming gift...why in the hell did I do that?! Ok I can see buying a spatual or maybe even a coaster or two...guess what I bought...2 side tables and a coffee table...over $100...I'm a f*cking moron...
Third, I always offer to loan her money when she needs it...not just "wants" but genuinely needs it...right now shes owes me $450...and I give her another $100 table set...

However, she has paid me back $250 so I think maybe eventually she will repay the debt.
Fourth and final (not really but its all I wanna write), I want to know why I can't stop loving this girl

! We have talken recently and the love from her isnt there, she even said that it wasnt. She's nice to me and offers things back so she isnt using me...well not without repaying (minus the money of course).

So is there something wrong with me for not being able to stop caring about her so much? Seriously should I go to a shrink or something cause I'm really depressed about it. Maybe I wont have to if you people could give some good advice for free.

Oh, and my friend said something to me today that makes a lot of sense, "You have no control over the one that you love". I think thats true cause I really don't want to love her anymore cause it doesnt do anything for me except hurt, but I can't help it.

12-14-2002, 08:41 PM

Dude, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is it sucks. I used to be in a somewhat similar position. It sucks

Hopefully you'll either get over it, or someone will come into your life who you will focus your attention on next!

Peace

12-15-2002, 12:23 AM

my advice to you would be to sit back and ask yourself why you are doing these nice things for her. If you are truly doing it just because you are a nice guy then there is no problem with that. But you seem to think by doing these nice things you can get her back and from the sounds of it you wont be able to.

You need to realize she doesn't think of you the way you want her to and to move on. Stop being her run around boy unless you get some satisfaction from it. By focusing your energy on her you might possibly be missing the right girl.

Rob · 12-15-2002, 02:21 AM

I saty **** gher but hat ;s just me..........

94_AcCoRd_EX · 12-15-2002, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
I saty **** gher but hat ;s just me..........

Spoken like a true pro

jfwy Rob.

Rob · 12-15-2002, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 94_AcCoRd_EX
Spoken like a true pro

jfwy Rob.

I don't even remember typing that....

ebpda9 · 12-15-2002, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
I don't even remember typing that....

can u remember how many bottles of beer ?

Rob · 12-15-2002, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hondaman-iac
can u remember how many bottles of beer ?

no beer

jack & cokes

and the last thing that I remember clearly is doing this

nonovurbizniz · 12-15-2002, 06:25 PM

Just stop hanging out with her. She's ovbiously aware of the situation and now she lives far away so... don't call her ask her not to call you and just put it out of your life.

When you grow out of it then be friends with her (or don't). either way you're not going to get over her or change the dynamic of the relationship (you do her favors and love her but get nothing (or sometimes enough to keep you giving)).

You'll never get over it or change it until she's gone.

good luck.

12-15-2002, 08:10 PM

Rob took the words off my finger tips......that would be biker, NOT that boozed bandit

b

12-15-2002, 08:29 PM

Yeah, you really need to just stop seeing her and talking to her. It's really crappy to say and it's not easy. I know because I just did it over the summer. It wasn't the same scenario. But I felt like you did in a lot of the ways that you mentioned. My ex and I broke up and we didn't talk for like 2 months and then we started talking again but we were seeing other people and for the first time that I saw him after those two months it still felt the same. I dunno. I could still see his feelings for me everytime that he looked at me. And it broke my heart because we weren't together. We broke up because we were together for a really long time and the marriage subject came up and that's something that he said that he was thinking about and that scared him because he didn't want that in his life at the time but that's how he felt and he said that he couldn't be with me. I dunno. So, we continued to talk and I would get nervous when it came to being with other people because I thought it would ruin any chance of us getting back together. Like I said, it broke my heart to not be with him and I was so sad and I was just sick of feeling that way and I had to be fair to myself. And I called him and said that I didn't like the way that it was all making me feel and I couldn't handle it. And that was it. That was in July. It was the hardest thing ever and it took time and I got over it. And I'm fine now. You need to do what's good for you. You can't put yourself through this. If you don't get away from the situation, you're never going to get over her. It's like going in the sun when you already have really bad sunburn.

mylittlecivic · 12-17-2002, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pdiggitydogg

"You have no control over the one that you love"

I know exactly how that is

And I dont know what to tell you but I hope you find someone who will care for you as much as you care for them.

12-17-2002, 03:44 AM

Wait, so she needs money, but comes to you? What is her boyfriend doing? What does he think about this?

*pdiggitydogg* · 12-17-2002, 09:02 AM

I know that I have to stop seeing her but everytime I try it seems that she calls on purpose to ruin everything that I have done so far. And like the idiot that I am I, like a stupid dog...I come when called...

I do the stupid things that I do because I am an honestly nice person. I mean if any of my friends needed some money to pay bills or something I'd help them out. For a while I was doing the things because I thought maybe it'd get her back but then I realized that I wasnt doing anything different from when we were together and that wasnt enough for her to stay with me anyway so why would it make a difference now? But I continued to do things just beause I suppose.

As far as the bf I really don't think he cares. Its money that he cant afford to give her (now that they live together) so why not let me handle it. He did want to give me $50 for the table set on friday...but I never got it. Appearently he's an electrical something and really doesnt make a whole lot of money

Im just so tired of caring. I dont want to anymore but like ost have said I gotta get something/someone to replace her and that should do it...I hope

12-17-2002, 10:06 AM

Somethign i should add. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you should let people walk on you. Also being a nice I can say this from the heart, there are people in your life that want to stay in your life because you are a nice guy. They dont offer anything in return for your friendship but instead take alot of out of you; they can run you around until your blue in the face!

Something all nice guys have to learn is when to stop being nice to people that dont deserve it. You might try not taking her calls and deleting any messages she leaves on your phone if you truly aren't strong enough to tell her off. Whatever you do dont let her harden you, if you stop being nice to other people on account of her, shes won!

*pdiggitydogg* · 12-17-2002, 10:31 AM

good advice

12-17-2002, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pdiggitydogg
good advice

best of luck mate, the toughest decisions are the ones that typically hold the greatest rewards to. Keep us informed!

DsBlu01CivEX · 12-17-2002, 04:27 PM

dude I know where you're comin from about bein retarded over the ex thing...and seeing the ex doesn't really help the getting over stage. But honestly I can say that I'm fairly well over my ex and really don't wanna get back together with him, but I still want him around and to be in my life. Like I said...I'm retarded. But I don't know that another person is necessarily gonna help you get over your ex. Sure it might take your mind off her for a lil while, but whose to say that you're only with the new girl cuz of trying to get over your ex. So basically you're just using this new girl to get over her. I say stick it out, chill with your friends, live your own life, talk to her if she calls but act uninterested, and wait till you find the girl that you actually wanna be with rather than just use some girl and probably break her heart. The other thing about dating a new girl is most likely you'd spend most of the time comparing the new girl to your ex....which isn't cool either.

12-17-2002, 10:57 PM

Stop giving her money and see if she keeps calling you. I bet she won't.

*pdiggitydogg* · 12-17-2002, 11:04 PM

there was a long period where i didnt give her any and she never asked. she still called me and everything. i really think the problem is 100% on my side and i should just stay away from her for awhile(...she talked to me today on aim...gotta start over again...) and try and find someone to replace her so i care about someone else.

12-14-2002, 08:01 PM	#1
pdiggitydogg Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Meanwhile, up in The D... Age: 40 Posts: 10,579	is there something wrong with me? I really think that there's something wrong with me. First of all, I'm an idiot. I always do things...anything...for my ex when she asks. Today, for example, I helped her move into her new apartment...she now lives with her bf...... But this new place is like an hour from her old hous and that was fifteen minutes from mine...anyway thats not the point, my point is it took 13hrs to get her all moved in. Doing that alone shows I am an idiot. Second, I bought her a fcking house warming gift...why in the hell did I do that?! Ok I can see buying a spatual or maybe even a coaster or two...guess what I bought...2 side tables and a coffee table...over $100...I'm a fcking moron... Third, I always offer to loan her money when she needs it...not just "wants" but genuinely needs it...right now shes owes me $450...and I give her another $100 table set... However, she has paid me back $250 so I think maybe eventually she will repay the debt. Fourth and final (not really but its all I wanna write), I want to know why I can't stop loving this girl ! We have talken recently and the love from her isnt there, she even said that it wasnt. She's nice to me and offers things back so she isnt using me...well not without repaying (minus the money of course). So is there something wrong with me for not being able to stop caring about her so much? Seriously should I go to a shrink or something cause I'm really depressed about it. Maybe I wont have to if you people could give some good advice for free. Oh, and my friend said something to me today that makes a lot of sense, "You have no control over the one that you love". I think thats true cause I really don't want to love her anymore cause it doesnt do anything for me except hurt, but I can't help it.

12-15-2002, 06:25 PM	#9
nonovurbizniz Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: ECUSA Age: 47 Posts: 2,693	Just stop hanging out with her. She's ovbiously aware of the situation and now she lives far away so... don't call her ask her not to call you and just put it out of your life. When you grow out of it then be friends with her (or don't). either way you're not going to get over her or change the dynamic of the relationship (you do her favors and love her but get nothing (or sometimes enough to keep you giving)). You'll never get over it or change it until she's gone. good luck. __________________ I am an A$$hole... take anything I say to heart at YOUR OWN RISK...

12-17-2002, 04:27 PM	#18
DsBlu01CivEX Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York Age: 43 Posts: 2,542	dude I know where you're comin from about bein retarded over the ex thing...and seeing the ex doesn't really help the getting over stage. But honestly I can say that I'm fairly well over my ex and really don't wanna get back together with him, but I still want him around and to be in my life. Like I said...I'm retarded. But I don't know that another person is necessarily gonna help you get over your ex. Sure it might take your mind off her for a lil while, but whose to say that you're only with the new girl cuz of trying to get over your ex. So basically you're just using this new girl to get over her. I say stick it out, chill with your friends, live your own life, talk to her if she calls but act uninterested, and wait till you find the girl that you actually wanna be with rather than just use some girl and probably break her heart. The other thing about dating a new girl is most likely you'd spend most of the time comparing the new girl to your ex....which isn't cool either. __________________ "Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike

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12-14-2002, 08:41 PM	#2
juvenile Posts: n/a	Dude, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is it sucks. I used to be in a somewhat similar position. It sucks Hopefully you'll either get over it, or someone will come into your life who you will focus your attention on next! Peace

12-15-2002, 12:23 AM	#3
mt.biker Posts: n/a	my advice to you would be to sit back and ask yourself why you are doing these nice things for her. If you are truly doing it just because you are a nice guy then there is no problem with that. But you seem to think by doing these nice things you can get her back and from the sounds of it you wont be able to. You need to realize she doesn't think of you the way you want her to and to move on. Stop being her run around boy unless you get some satisfaction from it. By focusing your energy on her you might possibly be missing the right girl.

12-15-2002, 08:10 PM	#10
spoogenet Posts: n/a	Rob took the words off my finger tips......that would be biker, NOT that boozed bandit b

12-15-2002, 08:29 PM	#11
msvtec14 Posts: n/a	Yeah, you really need to just stop seeing her and talking to her. It's really crappy to say and it's not easy. I know because I just did it over the summer. It wasn't the same scenario. But I felt like you did in a lot of the ways that you mentioned. My ex and I broke up and we didn't talk for like 2 months and then we started talking again but we were seeing other people and for the first time that I saw him after those two months it still felt the same. I dunno. I could still see his feelings for me everytime that he looked at me. And it broke my heart because we weren't together. We broke up because we were together for a really long time and the marriage subject came up and that's something that he said that he was thinking about and that scared him because he didn't want that in his life at the time but that's how he felt and he said that he couldn't be with me. I dunno. So, we continued to talk and I would get nervous when it came to being with other people because I thought it would ruin any chance of us getting back together. Like I said, it broke my heart to not be with him and I was so sad and I was just sick of feeling that way and I had to be fair to myself. And I called him and said that I didn't like the way that it was all making me feel and I couldn't handle it. And that was it. That was in July. It was the hardest thing ever and it took time and I got over it. And I'm fine now. You need to do what's good for you. You can't put yourself through this. If you don't get away from the situation, you're never going to get over her. It's like going in the sun when you already have really bad sunburn.

12-17-2002, 03:44 AM	#13
Wabster Posts: n/a	Wait, so she needs money, but comes to you? What is her boyfriend doing? What does he think about this?

12-17-2002, 09:02 AM	#14
pdiggitydogg Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Meanwhile, up in The D... Age: 40 Posts: 10,579	I know that I have to stop seeing her but everytime I try it seems that she calls on purpose to ruin everything that I have done so far. And like the idiot that I am I, like a stupid dog...I come when called... I do the stupid things that I do because I am an honestly nice person. I mean if any of my friends needed some money to pay bills or something I'd help them out. For a while I was doing the things because I thought maybe it'd get her back but then I realized that I wasnt doing anything different from when we were together and that wasnt enough for her to stay with me anyway so why would it make a difference now? But I continued to do things just beause I suppose. As far as the bf I really don't think he cares. Its money that he cant afford to give her (now that they live together) so why not let me handle it. He did want to give me $50 for the table set on friday...but I never got it. Appearently he's an electrical something and really doesnt make a whole lot of money Im just so tired of caring. I dont want to anymore but like ost have said I gotta get something/someone to replace her and that should do it...I hope

12-17-2002, 10:06 AM	#15
mt.biker Posts: n/a	Somethign i should add. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you should let people walk on you. Also being a nice I can say this from the heart, there are people in your life that want to stay in your life because you are a nice guy. They dont offer anything in return for your friendship but instead take alot of out of you; they can run you around until your blue in the face! Something all nice guys have to learn is when to stop being nice to people that dont deserve it. You might try not taking her calls and deleting any messages she leaves on your phone if you truly aren't strong enough to tell her off. Whatever you do dont let her harden you, if you stop being nice to other people on account of her, shes won!

12-17-2002, 10:31 AM	#16
pdiggitydogg Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Meanwhile, up in The D... Age: 40 Posts: 10,579	good advice

12-17-2002, 10:57 PM	#19
Wabster Posts: n/a	Stop giving her money and see if she keeps calling you. I bet she won't.

12-17-2002, 11:04 PM	#20
pdiggitydogg Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Meanwhile, up in The D... Age: 40 Posts: 10,579	there was a long period where i didnt give her any and she never asked. she still called me and everything. i really think the problem is 100% on my side and i should just stay away from her for awhile(...she talked to me today on aim...gotta start over again...) and try and find someone to replace her so i care about someone else.