.:HSTuners::

04-29-2002, 11:31 AM

whoa guys i don't know what to do. my ex fiance's girlfriend (the one that he cheated on me with and had a baby with) came to my house on saturday. at first i thought she was gonna start problems, but she instead told me that my ex had died the night before. i was in shock. i didn't know how to react. we had been together for 5 years, and were ready to get married. unfortunately, he was not a great guy...actually he treated me very badly. even though we left off on not great terms, this still saddens me. the last time we talked, i told him that i forgave him for all he did to me, and that he needed to move on. so i'm glad that i atleast got to tell him that i forgave him. now the problem lies on the funeral. i don't know if it'd be proper to go. i dunno, i'm just so weirded out by all this. part of me is really sad, the other part is just numb.

ebpda9 · 04-29-2002, 03:46 PM

well that really sucks. RIP for him. i don't want to make any waves but how did he die ?

black95gs-t · 04-29-2002, 03:46 PM

well i'll put it like this. you can not go, and risk regretting not going for the rest of your life. it is possible that you will not regret it, but i regret not going to my grandma's funeral and i was 5 at the time. or you could go and possibly feel out of place, but usually at funerals, (i can say usually cuz i have been to more than my fair share of them) people will not go out of their way to make you feel ashamed to be there, but instead they will try to sorta make you feel better in what ways they can. i am very sorry to hear about your loss. coming from experience, it gets better. once again i am very sorry for your loss.
Jon

94_AcCoRd_EX · 04-29-2002, 04:25 PM

I'm very sorry to hear that Honda_gurl. Black95gs-t has a good point about going to the funeral, but in the end, you're the only one who can make that decision. If you think you might regret not going later in life, you should go. In the mean time, just talk to people about it, and you'll get through it.

black95gs-t · 04-29-2002, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 94_AcCoRd_EX
but in the end, you're the only one who can make that decision.

sorry. forgot to say that. i was thinking it though. but yeah i agree with him.
J

04-29-2002, 05:10 PM

thanks guys... i talked for about an hour with his girlfriend today. she said that she wanted me to go. but talking to her made me feel even weirder. ay

i know that if i don't go i'll regret it, so i think i'll go. but talking to his 'new' girlfriend about how they were living together an all these things makes me feel so strange. she was very naive about things that went on. she really doesn't have a clue about the things that really went on with us. but of course, i can't talk bad about him to her, i don't want to mess up his memory. i'll just let her believe what she does. but knowing that the people i considered family are her family now makes me feel so strange.

Accord Man · 04-29-2002, 05:21 PM

I'm very sorry hear that.. My deepest sympathies..

Whiteclipse99 · 04-30-2002, 01:23 PM

I'm sorry to hear that Honda_Gurl. And although it's been said before, I agree that if you feel that you're going to regret not going later on, then you should go. Do you think he would want you to go? That might help your decision.

Racing Rice · 05-01-2002, 07:22 AM

Dang, Sorry to hear that. It sucks because even tho there is now relationship left, There is always a little spot left on your heart when your with someone that long. Hope everything goes ok. That is a hard spot you are stuck in deciding whether or not to go. Youll make the right decision which ever way you choose.

05-07-2002, 11:01 PM

haha what a suckass.. thats what he gets for cheating on you... good guys may finish last, but at least they finish!

05-08-2002, 12:26 AM

Its never an easy thing to loose someone who has been in your life for an extended period of time, regardless if it was good to bad. I guess the important thing is that you told what you felt needed to be said.
I think that going to the funeral would be good for you. You may not regret it, but I think that you in a way owe it to someone to at least pay your respects.
Either way, I hope that all goes well.

J

05-09-2002, 09:27 AM

well i went to the funeral. i knew i had to go, if nothing else, but to pay my respects to the family that once was mine. there were so many people there, all his immediate and extended family. and they were all so happy to see me. they all told me how good i looked now, and how thankful they were to see me there. when i went to hug his mom, she was just crying telling me how much he still loved me and how sorry she was for everything he did to me. keep in mind that his girlfriend/common law wife was right next to her. it was hard for me to sit there hearing everyone say what a great guy he was and at the same time knowing all he did to me. it made me sick to the stomach.. but he's gone now and i know there's absolutely no point in talking bad about him, it's all in God's judgement, not mine. i'm glad i went to the funeral, because i know the family appreciated my presence. and it also helped me to put turn the final page and close the book on that relationship. may he rest in peace..

94_AcCoRd_EX · 05-09-2002, 12:17 PM

Honda_Gurl, I'm glad to hear that you went to the funeral. You can now attempt to put everything behind you and move on. Good luck

4jacks · 05-09-2002, 04:01 PM

Well I'm sorry, that I don't check this forum to often, and couldn't wish you well earlier. I think you made some great judgements. This is just a really scary reminder that life is on God's time and not ours. So we need to live every day of it ready to be our last. I'm glad to hear that you forgave him, and we can only hope that God has done the same, You should try to remember some of the better thoughts about him, I know often bad memories will always rise above positive ones, but if you could spend a moment remembering the things you liked about him, it may help you put that memory to rest.

I wish you the best, and will say a prayer!

05-09-2002, 04:15 PM

thanks 4jacks for the prayer

honestly, i know this sounds horrible, but i really didn't like anything about him. me and my family sat and were trying to remember something good about him and there just wasn't anything. it's hard not to focus on the bad times because that's all there ever was. i seriously think the happiest times i was with him was while he was in jail for a year. it really was that bad. but like i said, i'm really gonna try to put it all behind me...

4jacks · 05-09-2002, 07:58 PM

GOSH DARN IT ! Think about when you first met the guy, he had to be cute or something !

05-10-2002, 09:19 AM

um, he was kinda cute when i first met him. more like a smooth talker.. sorry i really can't think of anything good about him. oh well actually he did used to hook me up with free chicken when he worked at KFC...but then again, he was getting it on with some chick who worked there too...so see, everything i think of, comes with bad too...SORRY!

*ChrisCantSkate* · 05-29-2002, 05:36 PM

wow, i rarly check this thread, but im sorry for everything your goping through, ive known people who died and i wasnt too fond of, im glad you desided to goto the funeral, and i hope you can get over this.

Quote:

Originally posted by bootstrap
haha what a suckass.. thats what he gets for cheating on you... good guys may finish last, but at least they finish!

dude, seriosly, someone died, and unless your perfect dont go saying how his punishment for cheating on someone, or doing something wrong "serves him right" by dieing.

04-29-2002, 11:31 AM	#1
Honda_Gurl Posts: n/a	my ex-fiance died... whoa guys i don't know what to do. my ex fiance's girlfriend (the one that he cheated on me with and had a baby with) came to my house on saturday. at first i thought she was gonna start problems, but she instead told me that my ex had died the night before. i was in shock. i didn't know how to react. we had been together for 5 years, and were ready to get married. unfortunately, he was not a great guy...actually he treated me very badly. even though we left off on not great terms, this still saddens me. the last time we talked, i told him that i forgave him for all he did to me, and that he needed to move on. so i'm glad that i atleast got to tell him that i forgave him. now the problem lies on the funeral. i don't know if it'd be proper to go. i dunno, i'm just so weirded out by all this. part of me is really sad, the other part is just numb.

04-29-2002, 03:46 PM	#2
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 43 Posts: 17,266	well that really sucks. RIP for him. i don't want to make any waves but how did he die ? __________________

04-29-2002, 03:46 PM	#3
black95gs-t Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Southern Cali Age: 42 Posts: 728	well i'll put it like this. you can not go, and risk regretting not going for the rest of your life. it is possible that you will not regret it, but i regret not going to my grandma's funeral and i was 5 at the time. or you could go and possibly feel out of place, but usually at funerals, (i can say usually cuz i have been to more than my fair share of them) people will not go out of their way to make you feel ashamed to be there, but instead they will try to sorta make you feel better in what ways they can. i am very sorry to hear about your loss. coming from experience, it gets better. once again i am very sorry for your loss. Jon __________________ LOONEY TUNES!!!! "Hearts and minds gents.... And if that doesn't work, two in the heart and one in the mind." "Life sucks.....so drop your pants and let the good times roll!" Mycivicjust8u

04-29-2002, 04:25 PM	#4
94_AcCoRd_EX Insomniac Moderator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: OR Age: 43 Posts: 11,142	I'm very sorry to hear that Honda_gurl. Black95gs-t has a good point about going to the funeral, but in the end, you're the only one who can make that decision. If you think you might regret not going later in life, you should go. In the mean time, just talk to people about it, and you'll get through it. __________________ 1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...--

04-29-2002, 05:21 PM	#7
Accord Man THE GENERAL Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Earth (usually) Age: 42 Posts: 5,698	I'm very sorry hear that.. My deepest sympathies.. __________________ HondaStyle.com Babysitter's Club Member #0 Soon to be >Dr Max Immuh<

04-29-2002, 05:10 PM	#6
Honda_Gurl Posts: n/a	thanks guys... i talked for about an hour with his girlfriend today. she said that she wanted me to go. but talking to her made me feel even weirder. ay i know that if i don't go i'll regret it, so i think i'll go. but talking to his 'new' girlfriend about how they were living together an all these things makes me feel so strange. she was very naive about things that went on. she really doesn't have a clue about the things that really went on with us. but of course, i can't talk bad about him to her, i don't want to mess up his memory. i'll just let her believe what she does. but knowing that the people i considered family are her family now makes me feel so strange.

04-30-2002, 01:23 PM	#8
Whiteclipse99 4th Gear Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York, Pa Age: 44 Posts: 952	I'm sorry to hear that Honda_Gurl. And although it's been said before, I agree that if you feel that you're going to regret not going later on, then you should go. Do you think he would want you to go? That might help your decision. __________________ Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane. -- Robert Orben

05-01-2002, 07:22 AM	#9
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	Dang, Sorry to hear that. It sucks because even tho there is now relationship left, There is always a little spot left on your heart when your with someone that long. Hope everything goes ok. That is a hard spot you are stuck in deciding whether or not to go. Youll make the right decision which ever way you choose. __________________ Racing Rice

05-07-2002, 11:01 PM	#10
bootstrap Posts: n/a	haha what a suckass.. thats what he gets for cheating on you... good guys may finish last, but at least they finish!

05-08-2002, 12:26 AM	#11
Raver X Posts: n/a	Its never an easy thing to loose someone who has been in your life for an extended period of time, regardless if it was good to bad. I guess the important thing is that you told what you felt needed to be said. I think that going to the funeral would be good for you. You may not regret it, but I think that you in a way owe it to someone to at least pay your respects. Either way, I hope that all goes well. J

05-09-2002, 09:27 AM	#12
Honda_Gurl Posts: n/a	well i went to the funeral. i knew i had to go, if nothing else, but to pay my respects to the family that once was mine. there were so many people there, all his immediate and extended family. and they were all so happy to see me. they all told me how good i looked now, and how thankful they were to see me there. when i went to hug his mom, she was just crying telling me how much he still loved me and how sorry she was for everything he did to me. keep in mind that his girlfriend/common law wife was right next to her. it was hard for me to sit there hearing everyone say what a great guy he was and at the same time knowing all he did to me. it made me sick to the stomach.. but he's gone now and i know there's absolutely no point in talking bad about him, it's all in God's judgement, not mine. i'm glad i went to the funeral, because i know the family appreciated my presence. and it also helped me to put turn the final page and close the book on that relationship. may he rest in peace..

05-09-2002, 12:17 PM	#13
94_AcCoRd_EX Insomniac Moderator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: OR Age: 43 Posts: 11,142	Honda_Gurl, I'm glad to hear that you went to the funeral. You can now attempt to put everything behind you and move on. Good luck __________________ 1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...--

05-09-2002, 04:01 PM	#14
4jacks Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Cecil County, Maryland Age: 45 Posts: 1,129	Well I'm sorry, that I don't check this forum to often, and couldn't wish you well earlier. I think you made some great judgements. This is just a really scary reminder that life is on God's time and not ours. So we need to live every day of it ready to be our last. I'm glad to hear that you forgave him, and we can only hope that God has done the same, You should try to remember some of the better thoughts about him, I know often bad memories will always rise above positive ones, but if you could spend a moment remembering the things you liked about him, it may help you put that memory to rest. I wish you the best, and will say a prayer! __________________ Patrick 4jacks 4jacks@gmail.com Happy Honda'ing

05-09-2002, 04:15 PM	#15
Honda_Gurl Posts: n/a	thanks 4jacks for the prayer honestly, i know this sounds horrible, but i really didn't like anything about him. me and my family sat and were trying to remember something good about him and there just wasn't anything. it's hard not to focus on the bad times because that's all there ever was. i seriously think the happiest times i was with him was while he was in jail for a year. it really was that bad. but like i said, i'm really gonna try to put it all behind me...

05-09-2002, 07:58 PM	#16
4jacks Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Cecil County, Maryland Age: 45 Posts: 1,129	GOSH DARN IT ! Think about when you first met the guy, he had to be cute or something ! __________________ Patrick 4jacks 4jacks@gmail.com Happy Honda'ing

05-10-2002, 09:19 AM	#17
Honda_Gurl Posts: n/a	um, he was kinda cute when i first met him. more like a smooth talker.. sorry i really can't think of anything good about him. oh well actually he did used to hook me up with free chicken when he worked at KFC...but then again, he was getting it on with some chick who worked there too...so see, everything i think of, comes with bad too...SORRY!

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