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Jer, I suspect you have made the right choice and I'm going to say to the contrary whatever has been said pior. Let things fall into place as they may, let her create teh structure to how she will earn your trust back instead of creating it for her. I thinking forcing something on her will only teach her to follow rules instead of repairing the trust.
I wont judge your call on this. It is a marriage and completely different they a gf, no matter how long you've dated.
The part I would struggle with is the trust. Thats something I'm not sure I would know how to rebuild. I'm sure however there are profesionals who know how to help couples rebuild that trust and I would recommend you see those types of people.
After 9 years being together and suspect you cannot imagine your life without her and that is why you've made this call. In your shoes I cannot be sure what choice I would make but I do know I would not making it lightly.
Everyone is going to tell you what he/she would do in your situation and for the most part these people are full of it unless they've walked the path themselves. I suspect most of them would actually do the opposite of what they've told you they would do. So take it all in stride, and work through this situation. YOu made a commitment between you and her, infront of your family and God to be with her through good times and bad. Welcome to the bad times, now is where you have the opporunity to build a relationship stronger then you had before.
There are no problems in life, only opportunities to do better.
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