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NASCAR. Also known as the Hillbilly Lottery. "Stock" cars, with nothing in common with production cars but the names only, driven by superstar "athletes" with beer bellies and severe halitosis, chase each other around a circle track, which smells heavily of mayonnaise based salads. All the excitement of greyhounds darting after the rabbit at your local dog track, with the exception that the greyhounds sometime explode, much to the enjoyment of the crowd. Beer is also served, much to the enjoyment of the crowd.
Recommended methods of watching NASCAR: Watch the first turn for all the glorious esplosions, then watch Bea Arthur in the Golden Girls or whatever else is on the Lifetime Network. Randomly pick a winner, and be prepared to discuss the most audacious esplosions tomorrow, as well as what Dale would have done with Darryl, Darryl, Darryl and Darryl at the Pick and Pull Used Parts Lot.
Max
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