mt.biker

Well this has become a last resort, maybe by writing this out I’ll feel better after.

Most of you know I broke up with my girlfriend (Amanda) about 2 and half months ago. Well it seemed to be going alright; I was recovering from being in a bad relationship and enjoying all the free time I know had/have. It seemed alright; I broke off all talks with her and only saw her in the halls.

Then she stops going to school for 2 weeks and I’m like ok. Any bad feelings I was having seemed to fade into the background as I have the car, my friends and did I mention I didn’t see her for two weeks. Then boom back she comes, new boyfriend and all. Needless to say I’m not at stage 3 of the break up stages (earlier posts) I’m still at stage 1 or in my own stage before stage 1.

I’ve noticed a change in myself lately too; I seem less like the fun loving guy I used to be and more just going through the motions of life. A women at work told me my eyes looked hallow and something about my color being different. I figured my eyes were showing how I was feeling as they say your eyes are a window to the soul. Kind of got me scared to tell you the truth. I’ve never had anyone say anything like that in my life, most people (typically girls) comment on the color of my eyes (blue).

Well nothing seems to be working to get me out of the slump, driving doesn’t do much for me anymore; to be honest I drive slower now. Biking, well that’s like a part of me more then driving is so its doing alright. Friends are good just for some reason I want to spend more time alone, it’s really weird because I’m typically a really social person. Family wise nothing has change Dad still comes and goes to and from SF to T.O.

So I’m really at a loss as to what I do next. I know it most likely doesn’t involve a new girlfriend because that would just create more troubles. But I’ve tried just about everything and you know what? It’s not working!

Btw it didn’t go as planned.