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Look man, when i had my last car (93 prelude si... BOOSTED!!!) i was having trouble downshifting to 3rd and i was constantly missing 3rd because it just didn't wanna get in gear. I thought the tranny was going out but i dealt with it. I ended up changing out my clutch for an upgraded one when i was getting ready for boost. That actually fixed my problem. The clutch was going out. Maybe it's not the same problem as you but it sounds a little like my situation. I too tried the different tranny fluid in hopes that it would be fixed. Just didn't work.
Hope this helps... Some clutches don't make it to 80,000 miles.
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