|
11
pre-pun question... what would the world be without electricity?
There once was this guy who worked for the Railroad as a conductor.
Let's say his name was Joe. Well, Joe was walking through the train, en route,
collecting tickets from the passengers. He comes to car 12, booth 3. In it is
this beautiful woman. She had curves in all the right places, her skin was
just tan enough to give a healthy look.. well, you know what I mean.
So, he asked her for her ticket:
"Excuse me ma'ma, do have your ticket?"
"Oh, I am soooo sorry, I dropped it out the window by accident," she
replied.
"Sorry, ma'am can't have any passengers without tickets." He grabbed
her by the scruff of the neck and THREW her out of the train. Well, she
landed on the tracks, was run over by the train. Naturally, the conductor was
arrested, thrown in jail. He was convicted of murder before a jury of his
peers, and sentenced to death by electrocution.
The day of his execution came up, and he was asked what he would like
for his last meal. He ask of a banana. They gave it to him, he ate it,
received his last rites, and was escorted to the chair. The executioner
strapped him in, hooked everything up. Last, he threw the BIG switch once,
and NOTHING HAPPENED. So, he did it again, and NOTHING HAPPENED. Well, by
law the conductor was legally dead, so they had to release him.
Oddly enough, the guy got a job on another railroad, as a condustor!
One day, he was gathering tickets, and came to a booth with a little boy.
"Young man, do you have your ticket?", asked the conductor.
"A-a-a, I'm sorry, I ate it by mithtake..", said the little boy.
And.. the same thing happened-- the boy was thrown off the train and
killed. The guy was arrested, sentenced to death by electricution.It came
to him last day. The death row guard asked him what he would like for his
meal. He asked for banana again. He ate it, and a priest gave him last rites.
He was escorted to the death chamber. This time, though, they where
smart. They washed his hands to get rid of any banana slime, they washed up
the chair. Next, they placed him the chair, and hooked him up. The switch-
puller pulled the switch once, and NOTHING HAPPENED. The switch-puller pulled
the switch twice, and NOTHING HAPPENED, not even a single hair raising on the
guy's chest.
Well, as the law says, they had to let him go...
Even more amazingly, he got a job on yet another railroad.
This time is was a rabbai. Same old stuff. Rabbai had no ticket (he
forgot to buy it). Guy threw him off the train, rabbai died. Guy was arrested,
convicted, sentenced to death by electrocution.
When the guard asked him what he would like for a last meal, he asked
for a banana. He ate it, received last rights, and was escorted to the
chamber.
However, this time the officials where going to get it RIGHT! They
scrubbed his body with s brillo pad. They scrubbed the chair with steel wool.
They tried the chair on a few other prisoners...
Okay, they strapped him in, and threw the switch once, NOTHING HAPPENED.
Threw the switch asecond time, NOTHING HAPPENED. At this point the guy was
legally dead, etc, etc.
But, before the guy could leave, the executioner, extremely frustrated
(he'd seen this same guy THREE TIMES already). asked, "What is it with the
banana!"
The guy replied, "I just like bananas."
So, the executioner SCREAMED, "THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T DIE!!!!!"
"I dunno," replied the guy, "I guess I'm just not a very good conductor."
|