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02-23-2002, 12:37 PM

I have a lot to say about this... I hope I can properly organize my thoughts and explain them clearly.

I think there are actualy a couple different things going on from what I got out of reading your post...

First thing I will address is the more global picture of communication and compromise. I'll address the actual religion issue later. An immediate red flag is raised when I read how it's basically "her way or the highway"... and this is in the beginning stages of the relationship - imagine how controlling she may become as the relationship progresses. I can certainly respect that somebody has a deep devotion to their faith. No problems with that. But the fact that she is completely unwilling to allow you the option of worshipping in the way that you feel is appropriate for you - let alone sit down and discuss the differences to find a common ground of understanding - is very controlling and selfish. It's only going to get worse - trust me on this one. Sounds like she wants what she wants when she wants it. Not good.

Second, the actual religious aspect. If you truly believe that your religion supports the continued growth of your relationship with God and deep in your heart you would really prefer to not convert to another religion, don't. My opinion is this: God first, family second, all others follow. I would never compromise my religious morals and principles for the sake of someone else - no matter who they are or how much I think I like them. I am not one to go to church to simply go through the motions - and with the concern you share over this decision, I am guessing you are not either. You need to be wherever you feel best supports your spiritual growth. Don't sell yourself short on this one.

Sit down and talk it over with her. Let her know your concerns and see if there is any middle road for compromise. If she is not willing to do this, then she is very narrow minded and personally I wouldn't want to waste my time with her if I were you.

Just my opinion... hope it made sense. I wish you the best!

SpongeBob

02-23-2002, 12:37 PM	#4
SpongeBobFastCar Posts: n/a	I have a lot to say about this... I hope I can properly organize my thoughts and explain them clearly. I think there are actualy a couple different things going on from what I got out of reading your post... First thing I will address is the more global picture of communication and compromise. I'll address the actual religion issue later. An immediate red flag is raised when I read how it's basically "her way or the highway"... and this is in the beginning stages of the relationship - imagine how controlling she may become as the relationship progresses. I can certainly respect that somebody has a deep devotion to their faith. No problems with that. But the fact that she is completely unwilling to allow you the option of worshipping in the way that you feel is appropriate for you - let alone sit down and discuss the differences to find a common ground of understanding - is very controlling and selfish. It's only going to get worse - trust me on this one. Sounds like she wants what she wants when she wants it. Not good. Second, the actual religious aspect. If you truly believe that your religion supports the continued growth of your relationship with God and deep in your heart you would really prefer to not convert to another religion, don't. My opinion is this: God first, family second, all others follow. I would never compromise my religious morals and principles for the sake of someone else - no matter who they are or how much I think I like them. I am not one to go to church to simply go through the motions - and with the concern you share over this decision, I am guessing you are not either. You need to be wherever you feel best supports your spiritual growth. Don't sell yourself short on this one. Sit down and talk it over with her. Let her know your concerns and see if there is any middle road for compromise. If she is not willing to do this, then she is very narrow minded and personally I wouldn't want to waste my time with her if I were you. Just my opinion... hope it made sense. I wish you the best! SpongeBob