[Addict]

So yeah... Things have changed. It turns out I wasn't ok with the decision.

I woke up on Monday with the worst possible feeling ever. Resentment. It was a horrible feeling to have towards someone I care so much for. I harbor some resent from two events that happened earlier in our relationship. I didn't join the Air Force because of her and I didn't go into the reserves because of her. I regret both of those decisions and think about them all the time. I didn't want to hold on to this as well. I was literally angry throughout the day.

So after some thought, I decided to call the recruiter and ask if the offer was still available. After explaining my reason for not taking the offer , he had to talk with his boss (who in turn is someone I'd be dealing with). Finally today I got to talk to his boss about it. She was understanding about the decision and I was offered the position again (after some further discussion).

So tomorrow I should see an official offer and start date, etc.. As for the wife, I'll be talking to her tonight about the job. I can't stand the thought of having the feeling of resent towards her. Things may be rocky at first, but I think we'll do alright in the end. If not, then I guess I'll worry about it then.