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revival · 03-29-2006, 08:16 PM

i'm surprised no female has stepped in during this conversation... ignore this if you want, but it's my two cents.
to be honest my relationship with my bf was a lot like your marriage. yes, i was talking to other guys, but it never escalated beyond that. if you've checked my profile and noticed that i'm 17, yes i've been dating one guy for the past 4.5 years. even while dating him i was talking to other guys and for just over a year it became a long distance relationship. so my thoughts wandered. but it was simply lust... i felt nothing for those guys, it was just fun to talk. and then when i finally moved back into the same city with my bf, lo and behold, the sh1t hits the fan.
the first week of summer in my new house he calls me and tells me that he has "stuff" to do, and if he got caught he didn't want me to be involved... that "stuff" was all a lie. he was testing me... two months later (when school started again) he calls me up and apologized and wanted to get back together with me... and so i did (don't ask... i love him so i was willing. love makes you do STUPID things). so on with the story, a few months down the road my computer crashes and he goes to fix it. my electronic diary is on the harddrive. people have told me that it's MY diary and he had no right to read it, but if i said he couldn't then he would be like "what are you hiding from me?" so... he read it, then the hell began... he found out i had been talking to this guy and flirting with another... but i NEVER did anything but talk! ....
we fought all last year, he was saying that i had become too cold (well no duh, i was dumped over the summer) and uncaring. but we eventually came to a compromise (after fighting every other day). we were sort of even now; him for testing me and me for lying.... okay so maybe we were both wrong on some level... but he were the oneshot relationship kind of guy, meaning "if the first girl doesn't work then i'm single for the rest of my life." the extreme monogamist. but whatever... we did manage 2 work it out in the end...

my explanation for this form of infidelity is that maybe she feels like she's missing something. just a speculation, i wouldn't know. but that's how i felt when i was talking to the other guys. i was missing the flirting and feeling of being desired...

really try talking to her. your wife running away during a problem like this is not right. you two are adults and adults know everything right?

03-29-2006, 08:16 PM	#48
revival Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Toronto, ON Age: 35 Posts: 73	i'm surprised no female has stepped in during this conversation... ignore this if you want, but it's my two cents. to be honest my relationship with my bf was a lot like your marriage. yes, i was talking to other guys, but it never escalated beyond that. if you've checked my profile and noticed that i'm 17, yes i've been dating one guy for the past 4.5 years. even while dating him i was talking to other guys and for just over a year it became a long distance relationship. so my thoughts wandered. but it was simply lust... i felt nothing for those guys, it was just fun to talk. and then when i finally moved back into the same city with my bf, lo and behold, the sh1t hits the fan. the first week of summer in my new house he calls me and tells me that he has "stuff" to do, and if he got caught he didn't want me to be involved... that "stuff" was all a lie. he was testing me... two months later (when school started again) he calls me up and apologized and wanted to get back together with me... and so i did (don't ask... i love him so i was willing. love makes you do STUPID things). so on with the story, a few months down the road my computer crashes and he goes to fix it. my electronic diary is on the harddrive. people have told me that it's MY diary and he had no right to read it, but if i said he couldn't then he would be like "what are you hiding from me?" so... he read it, then the hell began... he found out i had been talking to this guy and flirting with another... but i NEVER did anything but talk! .... we fought all last year, he was saying that i had become too cold (well no duh, i was dumped over the summer) and uncaring. but we eventually came to a compromise (after fighting every other day). we were sort of even now; him for testing me and me for lying.... okay so maybe we were both wrong on some level... but he were the oneshot relationship kind of guy, meaning "if the first girl doesn't work then i'm single for the rest of my life." the extreme monogamist. but whatever... we did manage 2 work it out in the end... my explanation for this form of infidelity is that maybe she feels like she's missing something. just a speculation, i wouldn't know. but that's how i felt when i was talking to the other guys. i was missing the flirting and feeling of being desired... really try talking to her. your wife running away during a problem like this is not right. you two are adults and adults know everything right?