That reminds me of that one stand up comedian that does the act on masturbation. Hes like "Women have so many different ways of masturbation. They've got their dildos, vibrators, pocket rockets, hell they can even get off on a washing machine. With guys all we've got is our hands. My friend tries to tell me that using the left hand is like a totally different person. Ya, a retarded person! Hell, I cant even load the dishwasher with my left hand how the hell do you expect me to jack off with it?" Not exact quote but somewhere along those lines...Oh ya, its Jay Mohr. He then procedes to talk about those vibrating shower heads and how its harassing his nuts.
Edit: I had it as Dane Cook...I dont know where that came from but it was Jay Mohr...