To those who actually read all this, thanks... I'm posting more because I'm bored off my ass because everyone left here (college) to go home for easter (I leave tomorrow). What would YOU do if YOU were in my situation? I'll try my BEST to be brief...
1) Went out w/ amazing girl last 2 years of HS... I can say those were the best days of my life (so far, at least)
2) Went to separate colleges: agreed to not date
3) We told each other every night on the phone we loved each other
4) 2 months into college (and after she and I had "cordial visits" to each other), I find out she made out w/ 3 guys and had been lying abt it for over a mont
5) I forgive her, am bitter, give her another chance
6) My bitterness ocassionally gets the better of me
7) Find out she likes this guy- coincidentally she goes on a 12hour car trip with him...
8) She and I hookup more after this 12hr trip... I later learn she made out with him (and lied abt it to me again)... so im VERY bitter now
9) Haven't forgiven her, agreed to be just friends, although I still care a lot about her
10) My bitterness still gets the better of me
11) Last time she visited me she didn't want to hookup w/ me bc she is trying to move on (keep in mind she often hints at me visiting her and/or spending the summer with her)
12) She has a crush on some guy at her college and "wouldnt mind hooking up" with him, not even dating...
13) I've been increasingly bitter/jealous about this and kinda psycho asking her where she is sometimes so I know she hasn't done anything... yet
14) I asked her to visit me on my bday- id pay plane ticket
15) She said she won't because "its not a good idea", and gave me reasons of wanting to stay w/ her friends, study for her exams, and itd be easier to get over me that way
16) I pissed her off by saying I might talk to her dad abt her substance problems
17) I told her I would write her off if she didn't come to my bday, and she said she wouldnt, so I've written her off... I havent talked to her in like 4 days...
18) I am VERY worried, in knowing her, that if I piss her off she will just go get on this guy, and then I know I would never be able to want to get back with her, but right now I do... I would LOVE to spend the summer with her, but not if she gets on this guy, and not the way we arent talking now...
I love spending time with her; I LOVE this girl... when I am with her, the ENTIRE world fades away, and I do every damn thing in my power to make her happy, and she does the same. She and I have accomplished some near-impossible feats together... I'm so pissed/angry/bitter we are at different colleges, because if we weren't, we would literally OWN the campus. Her parents won't let her come here, and she goes to Eckerd College (hippie/surferboy school), and I'm studying to be an upstanding business man, so that wouldn't work.
I skipped some things for brevity's sake...
Question: Should I call her and bother making things right, or just move on? I know we would still be awesome together, but since we are so far apart, is it worth it? My thinking right now is this; I won't call her or anything. My bday is May 7th. I figure, if she calls me then, then we can make things right. If she doesn't call me on my bday, then I can justify completely writing her off to myself... your thoughts?
ps- Thanks for reading all my boredom-generated rambling.
