Haha....glad I can be late.
Most of the problems I noticed are habitual problems you have. Like using "though" too much, or placing commas before quotes when it's not necessary. Then there's just a few erroneous awkward wordings thrown in to make it more interesting.
Changing your habitual problems is pretty easy, just be aware of them when you proofread your own work and you can catch yourself making the mistakes.
Other than that your writing is pretty solid, depending of course on whether the teacher likes it or not. Ahhh those were the days, writing a wonderful paper that got bad grades because the teacher just didn't like the subject.
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