|
I don't necessarily think she's hiding something from me with respect to the car thing, I think she just isn't open enough with me and is too concerned with her predisposition to thinking I'll judge her that she doesn't want to let me in her car. She gets so self-conscious about things that it can be utterly ridiculous. I can understand someone being self-conscious, but considering some of the things I've opened up to her about, and some of the things she's opened up to me about, I have no clue how she could possibly think I'd think anything bad of her if her car were "embarassing." It's like she trusts me so much sometimes, and then doesn't have any trust for me other times.
I don't think she's really hiding anything from me in her life, I think she just doesn't care to let me in on it. She doesn't like to talk about her life and what she does, yet she's fascinated with mine. She asks all sorts of questions of "what'd ya do" "how was it" "have fun?" and stuff, but when I return the questions she sometimes gets annoyed, other times just ignores the questions, and other times answers them without a problem. I've never had a friend who would ask "is it odd that I want to tell you things?" (with respect to talking with me, as a friend, confiding in me, etc.) and then who'd get annoyed when I ask questions about his/her life. It boggles my mind and annoys me.
We had somewhat of a talk yesterday, but in my opinion it didn't go so well. Although she tells me "if there's anything I do that annoys you I'd really hope you'd point it out to me" but when I do point it out to her she gets very defensive (understandable to a point), clams up, and doesn't want to talk about things. Or asks "why are you saying things that hurt me?" I'm like....WTF? She bitches that I'm complaining about her, then 5 minutes later makes a comment "that's what I'm here for, if there's anything you'd like to say to me please say it." I've got a laundry list of things to say, but I just kept them in....what's the point? I'll say them, she'll get depressed and pissed, and for what.....I feel like no matter what I do I'll be miserable, the difference is whether she's miserable.
I just don't know what to do. I really want her as a friend but sometimes I think it'd be easier and healthier to just say "F it" and turn the other way. I'd be more tempted to do that if there weren't other complications....such as the work thing. It's a lose-lose situation for me.
b
|